The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was a member here a couple of years ago, and foolish me thought I was ok.. that my DH would give up the drink. He did for about 6 month. Now its worse than ever. I use to attend face to face meetings too but stopped it as well. Now I realize that wasn't very smart of me at all. I do know that it's not my fault that he drinks. And when he does try to pick a fight or try to make me feel small and worthless and pick on me that none of it is true. That is his disease talking. He is just projecting what he feels on to me. I know this now but it took me a long time to see it. Anyway, I'm back now.. and should have never left.
Aloha Jen, I'm sure you've heard that recovery is about progress not perfection...you're safe with progress. I did the same leaving...getting worse and then finding myself back at the door of Al-Anon with the lantern of my HP before It was too late. I won't do that again whether an alcoholic is still drinking or not. The program has changed my life for the better so its family for me. Keep coming back. You can get progressively better while his disease gets progressively worse. ((((hugs))))
Glad you are here. It's good to be able to have that internal voice of knowing that things he says aren't true when he flips into mean drunk mode. I had a hard time distinguishing that. It's tough to know what to do with that kind of behavior as it is unnacceptable to be belittled and called names even if you don't take it personally and recognize it's a disease.