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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Oh that's right... they're alcoholics...
Post Info TOPIC: Oh that's right... they're alcoholics...
Aloha


~*Service Worker*~

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Oh that's right... they're alcoholics...
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Today I ran into a challenge that had me upset with a couple employees.

We're going through a large change here in the business and I asked several of the staff members to communicate some of the changes with clients. I sent this via an email and almost immediately two of them started peppering me with emailed questions. Presuming good will, I answered their questions until I got to a point where I needed to ask them to hold their questions for a later time and just do what was originally asked of them.

I let it go at that but afterwards, another employee came into my office and told me she was wanting to throttle those other two employees because she overheard them giggling to each other and saying "you send her one question and then I'll send her another and then you send another..."

First, it confuses me, frankly, how those two people would think it's going to set me off by asking questions in rapid fire at random. Again, I just presume good will and do my best to try to help. So how that situation was humorous to them is beyond me.

But what bothered me was that they were apparently doing this with the intent to bother me.

So, this got my goat momentarily this morning. I felt attacked personally, was tempted to go over to them and reprimand them, etc. I just vented with my boss about it and she told me they're just digging their own graves because the time they spend playing games like that is time that they should be spending doing their jobs and it's going to show in their monthly reviews.

I told her I wasn't going to go respond to their behavior because it would just be feeding the trolls and if I reacted then I'd simply be giving them what they want.

After having some time to cool down about it, it finally dawned on me... these two people are alcoholics. They don't need a reason to be trying to create drama, it's the nature of their disease. I shouldn't take it personal because I'm likely not the only one in their lives they subject to this kind of behavior. They're just sick and what they really just need from me at this point is my prayers.

SO glad to have the Al-Anon program to show me what's really clearly going on. It's not a personality thing. It's not an "oh God, they don't respect me!" thing. It's an alcoholic thing. They're doing what alcoholics do best - attempt to create drama.



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grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

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Aloha: I have to say as an employer myself, I wonder about the motive of the message carrier, too. I'm not big on folks tattling on other folks. When that happens, I generally see it as heresay and cast it away from me. I think it is pretty admirable of you not to enter into what was a triangle - 2 "kids" playing with e-mail messages and 1 "kid" tattling on them.
Good job.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Mattie


~*Service Worker*~

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Boy, that is some awareness!  And when you say that they're alcoholics, it all clicks.  You can almost see the S S S (Sick Sick Sick) written on their foreheads.  Your refusal to get drawn into their drama is inspiring.



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Breakingfree


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I too have been able to see the SSS stamped on peoples foreheads and remember they are sick and I need to QTIP. Great reminder thanks.

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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wow you handled this so wisely! So right not to give them any energy about it.

hugz! debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
SerenityRUS


~*Service Worker*~

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Okay .. I'm so wrong because I burst out laughing with the comment "feeding the trolls" be for warned I'm stealing that line. I dealt with someone similar and did wonder if the person was an alcoholic or drug addict. Anyway .. by not reacting to the drama that was created I wound up looking so good vs looking like the troll .. lol. I had a good laugh thinking about how my stbax would go on and on about how complicated I made things. Partially true I over think. Maybe if I wasn't trying to avoid the next crisis it would not have been so hard. You're absolutely on the right track working your program. Sending love and support sister, hugs s ;)

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Awaken


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Good for you!!! Just a thought as I read your post that your well thought out reaction to not react to the nonsense might just be the reason your their supervisor and they are the supervised.

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