The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think I might be addicted to Alanon. Is that possible? I only read Alanon literature, I dont read for pleasure anymore. lol Its on my mind from morning until night, I cant see life from any other eyes now so the world seems different to me. People seem transparent and in desperate need of the program to me which is not very Alanonish really. I aspire to think and live the program but I am aware I am a bit panicky about it. Today, I had a disagreement with a workmate/friend who can have seriously crazy points of views about things. Anyway, afterwards, I felt so bad, had I said anything hurtful? why did I need to be heard or be right? and I caught myself beating myself up a bit, thinking Oh well, what kind of program are you actually living here!!!!! I wanted to go and tell her Im sorry, please dont hate me, you are right and Im wrong, please dont reject me!!!!
Okay, my insanity is alive and kicking, clearly. So much still to do, maybe I need to take it a bit slower or maybe I need to work it harder, who knows?
Hi, my name is David and I am a groupaholic... nothing could keep me away from meetings, right from the start. To be honest I had fantasies that Lois was my mum. I think that was really healthy... and something she have been aware of... a sister/mother to thousands and thousand of people.
There are changes taking place in my world, and in the world of Alanon... and yes, I am right up there with the winners... thanks LC.
David G!!! what a share...and el-cee you're growing. Al-Anon was and is a different way of living for me after all of the wreckage of alcoholism and the other isms which came along with it. I learned about peace of mind and serenity for the first time and then I found out I could have it 24/7 if I would just live this program rather than the program I was living before I got here. I made the choice...this is the way I am going to live...thru my HP and the fellowship, the steps, traditions, concepts, slogans, literature, sponsorship and all the other ESH which has saved my life and helped me to rebuild it. Addiction? The definition of addiction for me is a compulsion of the mind and an allergy of the body; as in alcoholism...there is no allergy from working this program other than to the disease of living with mind and mood and behavioral altering chemicals. We don't do that any more. I don't have to want people to like me today and I don't fear rejection because my relationships are balanced and happy on my side of the street just as promised. Al-Anon is the only program for living which has worked for me...all others with the exception of my culture that acknowledges and affirms our program have not worked. Additionally Al-Anon is family for me both face to face and e-face to face. I'm not addicted, I am in gratitude and continued willingness. You are sister, David is brother...all are family. ((((hugs))))
I'd say you are trying hard, and doubting yourself some. Keep a balance. Work hard on your program and also be nice to El-Cee and enjoy and have some fun, remember that word "FUN" all work and no play etc. etc. ...... og
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Thanks for the feedback. David. That's so funny. We could have a meeting about recovery addiction. I do feel some growth if im honest. My acceptance is more natural or engrained. Still got the doubt too and perhaps my expectations are still unrealistic. Fun sounds good. I've been hibernating this winter so I need some fun. Thanks so much.x
I do check myself on here sometimes. I want to make sure I'm not getting addicted to the crises that people share on this board. After all, that is one of my problems as a co-dependent, I would rather go through a quick crisis sometimes than live out "real" life.
So sometimes I step back and evaluate what I am doing here, and if it's actually being constructive to my and others' lives, or if it is just for the thrill of vicariously participating in a crisis.
Kenny, Ive thought that maybe Im using the forum as a distraction to avoid things in my life, yes I can see that. Im not sure I would use the word thrill though that suggests there is some pleasure to be gained from a persons problems. I feel the opposite, I enjoy the positive posts, I love to see progress, I like the posts that I can learn from, which are most posts, crisis's not so much. It is a good point though, check your motives.
thanks LC. 