The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So after so many manipulations, I caved and answered the phone when my ex ABF called. (Via text) First it was poor me, and my absent father called me today. Then when that didnt work it was anger! Im coming for my bed! Then when that didnt work it was overly concerned for my safety time... and finally I answered the calls... It had only been two weeks. I knew I shouldn't. I did though, after all I still love him...
Anyway, we get into a lengthy convo. He says to me can we go back to where we were best friends? Just for a while, during this time where Im trying to straighten myself out because I cant maintain a relationship. When we were friends I didnt feel the need to hide from you or lie. I could be honest with you. Etc Etc. I said no, not right now, it's too soon.
So anyway I want to get to the story time...we have these moments in our communication that we call story time where we try to make difficult emotions easier to understand...
This was his story:
My heart is like a car battery, but an old one that is not trustworthy. When I start to get concerned that the battery is going to overload, get too hot, the case might crack, it might spew out battery acid, etc, I disconnect it to give it some time to cool off. I dont know if that battery is too corroded to work right. I don't know if it will do me more harm than good to run my car with that battery in it. So I take the positive and the negative and I disconnect it completely. So i can test things out. Everytime I reconnect the wires, the love is still right there, it never goes away. I have to stop and disconnect for safety, for you and for me, for perspective. To diagnose the rest of the problems. To catch myself and make sure Im not getting out on the road and putting myself and others at risk.
Ill tell you, for someone who makes such bad life decisions...sometimes I wonder if this person is not much more wise than maybe I am. I wish he could teach me how to disconnect my battery...because he's drained mine and I don't know if it will hold a charge anymore!
Practicing HALT - don't get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired - can help to recharge our batteries. Doing something fun just for us every day helps, too.
I love the battery story and can totally relate at AH does this very very well. I don't know if his battery cables have ever been completely attached. Lol. If you find out how to disconnect those and reconnect at when ever let me know because I should use that right now. I wish you the best and take care of yourself.
Maybe it's because I'm an electronic engineer, but I'm not getting the attempted parable here. I think he just needs to go down to AutoZone and get a new one!
