The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
or the compulsion to cry over it. I've mentioned that my eldest son has relapsed and its been a while since. Denial and the tricks which come with it have kept it under the rug until the problem became too large and the rug too small. The entire family...including my wife and I are invloved. My wife and I are fractured pieces off of the family mainly because of this disease of addiction and then we know how to live our lives without infection from it. We have met with parts of the family as some have come over and we have talked and others have spoken with us in other places. We listen and then share our mana`o; our experience strength and hope with them and we offer to take them to a meeting. I even took my son to one of the meetings and his response after the meeting was "I can see why you guys need this"...LOL LOL almost fell down and wet my pants on that one. Anyway...I've inventoried "my part in it" including the part that although the disease is arrested in me at one time I was a "carrier" of it. I have a long history with the disease that comes from generations before I arrived here and so does my son. I introduced him to alcohol at the age of one and would let him drink with me without any awareness of the chemical or the disease which it is based on.
Looking back in inventory over all of these generations and years I cried that the disease has taken so much from this family of people. The tears were not from frustration just losses. The only thing that tempers those thoughts, feelings and beliefs of loss is the awareness from experience of the more powerful "HP". Parts of our family hold that belief without the awareness of the disease of chemical addiction and other parts with the awareness and still for me the perception of the loss can smother my spirit at times and I feel my powerlessness until I remember that "This too will pass" is a reality in my life and that it will when I work the program. It works when you work it for a fact...so I'll keep doing that. For all MIP members who are enjoying peace of mind and serenity...thanks for passing that on. For those who are not there just right now, remember "This too will pass". Believe. ((((hugs))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 29th of January 2014 02:26:16 PM
Thanks for sharing. I really needed to hear that sadness and crying is normal when this awful disease affects you. I will remember "This too will pass" as I know I have better days ahead.
Thanks for the share Jerry. It is so devastating that this disease truly does affect generations of people, whether you are an alcoholic or not. Until the cycle is broken, the trauma, sadness, and pain continue. A great reminder to me to keep working this program and to keep working on the relationships with my kids and grandchildren....
I too so understand the sadness, pain and grief caused by this "Family" disease. In my family it, also goes back genertions on both sides. Although I have been in program for over 30 years no one else is . In fact they continually tell me they are cutting back and in control.I am eternally grateul to alanon for giving me the tools to continue to "Love " them as they are and not ry to "Save " them as I have in the past.
I relate to this post so much my partner is sober today and we are on a programme but other members of both our families are ill with the disease. I lost my uncle the other week to it at his funeral I was sad I understood what the illness had done to him and how powerless he was. Others had hate for him, some joked about his drinking I could see ISMs flying everywhere, you are right the feelings did pass Al anon got me through. I have so much gratitude that I am in recovery and my partner. If I face your challenge and the disease rears its ugly head in the kids I hope I can work my programme as well as you.
Hi Jerry, Im sorry you are hurting and thankfully it will pass. I can relate and when you look at it in that way it can be overwhelming. Its a taker, this disease but Im trying to see it another way. Its gave me so much, my sickness from this disease brought me to Alanon and here and I met you and other lovely people. Your son may be living his own journey to this program, I mean hes got your genes and you got here.
Someone said to me 'its okay to look back but dont stay too long' Keep your chin up. Sending my love.x
I'm so sorry to hear of your sadness. It makes me cry to think what this disease is doing to so many families. What this disease is doing to your son...your flesh and blood. Prayers are with you tonight as I go to sleep that God will take some of that sadness away and give you the courage the strength to live with some peace as this evil disease beats down your door.
((( hugs ))) my friend
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I hear ya Jerry and sending LOADS of hugs (((((((((((((((Jerry))))))))))))))) I cry over different losses, and some real similiar, but a loss is a loss......at least we are in recovery trying to change....thats all we can do......I have made some whopper mistakes out of my disease of co-addiction aka coda or acoa....yep....can't "un-do" them, but i can go from here on, being healthier.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I am so very sorry (((jerry))) Glad you keep coming back to share your wisdom but also trust us when your heart aches. You and your family are in my prayers. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
So sorry Jerry. My son had high fevers all week... hallucinating... stopped breathing...
I feel glad he is alive today, the only day that counts. Children are lost in car wrecks and all sorts of crazy things every day. I am trying not to waste the good times because we don't know when they could be up just like that. Not stealing good time away from me anymore worrying about it either. Not sure if HP has a plan or not, but if so - stealing His gifts of serenity and peace from me and then everyone else as a result of my unwell - well... I'm thinking weren't part of that plan. You're in my thoughts and prayers... and Hp's hands. There is rest for the weary there I believe. xxxxxxx
Sorry to hear your hurt, Jerry. You are such a source of comfort and support for so many. Please know I send love and prayers and blessings your way also. When I'm in the house of loss I work on allowing myself to sit with it and grieve it and feel the sorrow with respect for its lessons. When I am able to do that I am finding I can turn my heart to the beauty around me to heal a little more. It is a house I only visit instead of living in. When I can achieve that. Some days I cant and its okay. People like you remind me of this and it brings solace.
On an unrelated note. Sometimes it seems like the share that starts a thread is the middle of a thought or sentence and some other conversation occurred before the thread is originated. The first line of your share seems like that to me. Was there a first part of the sentence that doesn't appear here?
not a truer word is spoken, and with all the good will in world and the learning and unlearning I hadn't known how to say or feel the way that loss and losing our loved ones resonates inside of me, how simply written yet powerfully felt, yes it's the sadness, and being aware, we don't have to deny it, very few people places or things reveal such honesty in the face of things we struggle to understand, simple truths spoken out loud from the mouths of people that you know they know, help us to keep an healthy sadness alive and well in our hearts.
My (ex) son-in- law is 'performing'(yet another relapse) and my little grand-daughter at the age of 6 is absorbing it and beginning to act out a bit over it
Here's my hand across the ocean's.... squeeze it tight I need that squeeze as much as you
