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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Maybe it's the winter doldrums
Post Info TOPIC: Maybe it's the winter doldrums
abbyalana


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Maybe it's the winter doldrums
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I don't know about you but I've been feeling very disheartened lately.  My efforts in finding a second job over the past four months feel in vain - not one call back.  The financial fallout from the divorce is forcing me to file bankruptcy this year - very disappointing.  My efforts in finding a roommate over the past six months feel in vain - apparently you have to have a "perfect" house to rent a room out.  I keep telling myself that things will work out - and they will - I know they will!  But I am feeling so defeated! 

The bankruptcy attorney actually asked if I had a boyfriend that could move in...he wasn't meaning to be rude but it irked me.  So I get out of a 16 year chaotic, traumatic, addict riddled marriage just so I can shop around and play revolving door with men?  I think not!  I knew that it wouldn't be easy financially but that a sane and healthy life were far more important than money; it's just been tough.

I've been having long talks with my higher power, sponsor, close friends, trying to stay off the pity pot and keep moving forward but something about this week just makes it tough.  Maybe the 5 degree weather...

My dad was in a similar place after my parents divorce.  He had five of us, no child support from my mother and barely able to make the bills most months even with all his overtime.  He does tell me how proud of me he is so that's something...Anyways, thanks for listening...I think I just feel better typing it and letting it out sometimes.

Bring on spring!  Cut down my heating oil dependence...



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grateful2be


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I understand. I experienced some of the same things when I first divorced. I also noticed that just about the time I thought I'd lose everything we needed to survive - a place to live and food - an unexpected door would open to me. I'd walk through it and all my family's needs (not wants) were met one day at a time. "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beatty(spelling) was an incredible help to me during those years as was the encouragement of others and my HP.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Cathyinaz


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Even though my divorce as not financially in ruins it still was quite a bad experience. I never want to go there again. Guess that's why I never remarried.

I pray things start coming your way for a change and warm weather of spring comes soon. Life is so much more tolerable when the sun is shinning, the flowers are blooming and the birds are chirping.

((( hugs )))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Debilyn


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geez like a man is just out there to save us and take all our problems!!!

What a weird thing to ask.

All we can do is wake up, hope for a good day. Then do what we can, then enjoy what we have.

I realized I need a bit more income. I have an extra room. Ended up catsitting for a month, made four hundred then next month had one, make three hundred.

Was fun yet made money.

When my kids were younger I was a widow. I had my job as a tutor for the school district. Summers I had a couple houses I cleaned, did pet care, did some landscaping etc. I loved it.

Many moms and... are working these days and would love to pay something you both can agree on to clean her home. or his. Geez would pay you to do my dishes, it hurts my hands to. And pay you to clean my fridge, it hurts my back! There is thirty bucks right there. wash my pup there is another twenty! fifty bucks for about hour and a half of work!

So for me, developing my own income worked.

Its a very cold winter!!! Have you checked energy assistance?

believe me there are tons of people feeling defeated. YOu work so hard yet cannot even pay living expenses!I have been in lots worse times, all I know for me it is always face each day and do what I can. it always works out.

It will for you too!

 



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"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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el-cee


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I can relate, I think were all ready for spring to come now, fed up with the dark and the rain now. I read your post and thought that there is a lot of positives here, I like that you have a higher power and faith that it will be alright, your resilience shows through, you have your sane and healthy life, your Dads proud of you and I can see why. I do know how you feel, its like right I have left this toxic relationship so thats that, done and dusted but theres always the fallout. For me it has been building healthy relationships with my children who are affected by alcoholism and whose behaviour went off the rails for a while. Im not saying its all fixed now but its a whole lot better now were not dealing my ex. Life is a whole lot better. Keep your chin up.x

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abbyalana


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Thanks all. I think sometimes it's just nice to get it out...I am hoping to have a second job come spring and I've signed up on a babysitting website with one prospect...if I can do date night sitting it's about $40-50 a night - 4 times a month and that's good! That same site has petsitting and odd chores posted too. So, I'm on it! If I could get a roommate plus the website referrals I'd be in good shape. Who knows? Maybe things to come...

I have checked into assistance but I make $900 a year over the threshold. Yes, a whopping $900. But, that's OK. I will make it through.

Spring, a job, a roommate would be ideal...maybe I will get lucky with all three!

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Jen61


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Good attitude and I wish the best for you!

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