The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello,
I finally started reading Paths to Recovery...How do I do this? do I read it alone? with a sponsor? how do I get s sponser? there's one Al-Anon group I've been to and like for the most part...
I want to do *something* about my recovery..reading One Day at a Time and this book I'm sure will be and are helpful..but where do I go from here? Would it be ok to email the person who I'd like to be my sponser? It's hard to make F2F meetings because I have school and work...
in the meantime the only thing I can do is to keep reading my books..Thanks for listening.
At the Al Anon meetings I've been to, when there's a newcomer, after the meeting a few of the more experienced Al Anon folks usually greet the newcomer, engage in some discussion, and offer phone numbers and names in case the newcomer want's to chat further or needs guidance or has additional questions in between meetings - you'll get lots of opinions and suggestions on "how to do it" - I was lucky enough to connect with my Sponsor early on and have relied on him for the past 8 years - I'd suggest engaging a few folks in conversation and get a feel for their style and personality - someone you can identify with (for me) seems to make the relationship with a sponsor more robust, but I guess that ya don't really even have to "like" your sponsor, in the sense of being a "pal" - I'd focus on finding someone who has plenty of experience in the program, someone who tells it like it is without any BS or fluff, and someone that doesn't let me BS myself with rationales and justifications for stuff I'm doing that is only making my problem worse - my Sponsor helps me stay on my path, and he does it with love and genuine caring - I trust him more than anyone else that I know.
Hope that helps a bit - I'm anxious to see what some of the other fine folks here have to say, too.
Hi. I think a sponsor is important to helping you work the steps - someone with a lot of Al-Anon program work who doesn't just talk it but demonstrates it in how they handle themselves and how they treat others. There are no perfect sponsors, but there are those who really are working their program and you'll know by watching them. We can work the steps on our own, but it goes much slower that way and doesn't give us the benefit of one person with whom we can share details that are better said to one person rather than many. I can't imagine my life without a sponsor in this program. I've been blessed with two really good women who were right for me at different stages in my recovery process. Going it alone and member to member is okay and good. Adding a sponsor to your recovery program is an even greater blessing.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 25th of January 2014 10:05:51 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 25th of January 2014 11:12:05 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 25th of January 2014 11:12:48 PM
My esperience has been that learning about the program and how it works starts with the books, is experienced at meetings, and is worked on a day to day basis by talking on the phone to other alanons every day, and working the steps and sharing experience, strength, and hope with a sponsor. In the beginning, I didnt make a move without checking it out with other friends in the eprogram and my sponsor. I certainly wouldn't have survived long enough to get a little recovery under my belt before tackling real life and crises. I believe a sponsor is necessary right off the bat. i outgrew several sponsors emotionally and spiritually as time went by. I lost my last sponsor who passed last April and I miss her dreadfully. I probably wont find another at this point as we're aging out. There is no greater blessing than a solid sponsor who becomes a decades long friend.
