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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> So far, this seems to be exactly where I belong...
Post Info TOPIC: So far, this seems to be exactly where I belong...
vivalove


Newbie

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So far, this seems to be exactly where I belong...
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Hi, my name is Jean and I am new to Al-Anon. 

I grew up in an alcoholic home (my father got sober when I was 12). For almost a year, and sometimes today, I failed to accept that this is my truth, because I am fearful that I am labeling it (my father) as good or bad (as a person) - when intellectually I know that it is what it is (he is an alcoholic in recovery), and I can not change the past. I can only change my attitude in this very moment. I can choose to accept it for what it was, but it hurts sometimes. 

An additional factor to my desire of seeking help here in Al-Anon, is I live with my only sibling (& mother+father), who is an active alcoholic. 

I resent him, I am fearful that he will live on a miserable life. I want him to be happy.

I have made it about me, which is selfish & in turn, I am not a good sister because I do not know how to treat him or act around him. 

 

I am now realizing just how much energy, stress, and fear I spend worrying. I have an overwhelming schedule already, and I am taking on the weight of worrying for the rest of my family. It is only hurting me. 

 

It feels good to share. 

Thank you. 

 



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Mari1978


Senior Member

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Welcome to MIP
Please keep coming back and sharing.
You are not alone.
Face to face meetings are helpful as well.
So glad you are here :)

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KennyFenderjazz


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome to MIP vivalove!

Keep sharing, it's one of the things we do to try to figure out how to navigate our crazy lives with alcoholics! And don't expect advice, expect us to give back our experiences, strength, and hope, so that maybe you can glean something out of our experiences to help you understand and make decisions moving forward.

Face to face meetings are great, and we have online meetings here as well, in a chatroom that almost always has somebody in it. Click here --->  Al-Anon Group Meeting/Chat Room -- or in the upper left hand corner of this page and you will see the meeting schedule.


Peace
Kenny



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MorningGlory


Veteran Member

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((vivalove))
You are right, you have come to the right place.
I am new here too.
You will read many stories here as people share their ESH,
some will be familiar and some not so much.
This is a very loving place and we are all helping each other along.
Welcome!



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Nothing has changed but my attitude, everything has changed.
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome to MIP! you will find people always willing to listen and support you here.

"Getting Them Sober," is a  very good book that can help you. by Toby Rice Drew. volume one.

Yep we all want our loved ones to be happy. The obstacle they have with addiction is their own. We cannot do anything. But we can love them as is, leaving that part of them for them to figure out.

They are much more than having the disease of addiction. I even had a friend with AIDS who I never mentioned his disease, neither did he. Scott was Scott, it was him I wanted to focus on.

I hope you can find comfort here. We love it when people come here to vent out their feelings and thoughts. that includes you! Believe me we all relate and want to support each other.

You are a very caring person, that is all your family needs to see. We all want to be loved just how we are, and we need it too!

Just becuz we cannot take care of their disease does not make us a bad person. It is impossible for us to do so! same as any other disease, we have no control over that.

But we can treat everyone with respect, tease them, be goofy with them, laugh, enjoy them whether they are an A or not. My friends sister was so great. She loved her two brothers and father. All of whom were A's. She had zero to do with their problems, but she had everything to do with making them happy by her being her, and not allowing their disease hurt her.

Please keep coming! love,debilyn

 



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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