You're not alone Maryanne I am new here as well and finding this site and Al-anon to be very helpful , it will take time for us to learn to cope with the 12 step program , but I am sure with some coaching and reading through others experiences we will become stronger, and not so afraid.

I live with an alcoholic, if not alcoholic he's got a huge dependency on it, daily , not a drunk and he holds a great job and provides for us financially, but emotionally he's detached himself from me and my son, and he's very condescending to me, put downs are daily and no matter what I do it isn't good enough, will complain about the silliest things such as the spoons in the wrong place to pants not hung up the right way, I am lazy , stupid , and can never do anything right, I had a great job but company closed their doors and been out of work now for a year and it is now that I am looking for work that I realized just how much I lack confidence in myself. Getting his opinions are always you can't do that, or don't want you working there , As bad as he is for me , I seem to strive for his approval , anything even a compliment ...( sigh )

So I find myself here with you and I hope we will find a light , a hope , will power and courage ...

Hugs Mia

courage to change; hope for today; how alanon works .. all good reads ..

if you want to talk ever there is a message board button up there to send messages to members .. if you click on members name, can send them too .. never hesitate to reach out .. i need to do this more myself .. but there are many here with good, spiritual recoveries .. the messaging helps me sometimes in between posts, etc .. if there is something that's persistantly bothering me ..

keep coming and reading .. the only way to know what to do is to put one finger in front of the other on the keyboard and just begin .. online meetings, yes helpful .. also www.stepchat.com .. 24/7 chat available and more meetings if needed.. i love these boards .. they have helped often .. ((( Hugs from here too ))) welcome !

maryanne wrote:

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I am so glad I found this place.  I don't drive,  and there are no meetings near when I live.

I am so sad most of the time.  I hurt.  What I have been reading, has helped me a lot.

Thanks for listening.

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 WELCOME, maryanne and there are beautiful online meets here on this board....EVERY day.....all you gotta do is go to top left part of the page and select the meetings area and click,  put a name in the box and you're in the room....GOOD meetings....