The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, what I am trying to say right now is that nothing really has changed lately but my outlook has changed. I am still in the grips of this disease daily I just know that I can overcome the trials & tribulations that go along w/ it. I guess I can say I am an overcomer even if it is just an affirmation. I am a little leery of what is going on w/ my cousin still. I guess she really does affect me after all these years. I want her to be OK but I am still powerless over anything she does or how she feels. All I really can do is pray & PUSH until the answers come. I am able to focus on me still but sometimes it is hard. I am still a work in progress. I only have today to deal with. I am not alone & today I am not afraid.
One thing that is still bothering me is that I have a friend that has a problem w/ knowing it all. She means well but we all know that no one knows it all. I just need to pray for her to that somehow she comes to her senses. She is not in the program but is very familiar w/ the addiction process. I am just glad that I only have to see her every two weeks by choice. I don't know if it will last long because when I leave her I feel hurt & somewhat angry. I know what some of you are thinking I think. I should probably distance myself because she may be toxic for me. I just wish that I could get around it but we meet at her house & there are other women involved that I will miss terribly. We are a good healthy unit. I am grateful I have them. I guess I need to go to a meeting. I will be there on Weds. I have to because I have been missing the one meeting I go to weekly.
I have a good friend that I spend time with every so often and sometimes she advises me on things I say and really goes on about stuff that is about my life or others lives that had nothing to do with her and after so many gentle reminders if she doesn't stop I just remember she does not have a program and I need to QTIP. I am not always great at it and she did comment the other day that I am hard to read and make funny faces at her sometimes, so although I don't say what I am thinking I may express it in my face, ha. I am a work in progress for sure. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I do believe that you answered your own question That is really how it works. We share, we do not give advise, and then the answer is discovered. Good work
I also found that with peole who "know it all" I had to simply "validate myself in a positve way when I was aruond them and it works.
I have been in similar situations, and what worked for me was accepting who this person is as she is. I recognized that she is doing the best she can with what information she has. I start by giving her a big smile and hello and have a light, pleasant conversation without getting upset inside. When she says something that I'm uncomfortable with, I do not engage with it, but I do start to move on. Even when standing a few feet from each other, I envision a that we're in a tunnel and I'm getting farther away from her... farther, farther... her words run out of steam and fall to the floor and can't bother me at this distance.
That is really how it works. We share, we do not give advise, and then the answer is discovered. Good work