The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am 74 and still worrying about daughter who is 47 and has drank since she was 13. She has a S.O.(many relationships and 2 marriages) who supports and enables her, and has never asked for anything. It is just that I see she is dying, so thin now and looks awful. Her insides are so messed up she can't keep food down. She is still in denial, says the drs can't find what is wrong with her besided irritable bowel.
She just keeps calling me and pretending all is o.k. Wants me to think that. Is so in denial, and I can tell her brain has been damaged as well. She has a college ed. and can't work. I told her I couldn't talk to her and pretend anymore. I can't let it go.
Have other problems going on too. It is just too much at times.
Welcome to Miracle in Progress. I am glad that you found us and reached out. Alcoholism is a progressive, fatal disease over which we are powerless. We who live with or have lived with the problem of alcoholism understand the fear and the anxiety of which you speak. Al-Anon is a fellowship of people who share their experience strength and hope in order to solve our common problems. There are face-to-face meetings held in most communities and the hotline number is listed in the white pages. I urge you to check out the meetings and find the support that you deserve.
In face-to-face meetings I was able to break the isolation caused by my fear, receive the support from others who understood and learned to develop new tools to relieve me of the anxiety and fear that were my constant companions.
Some of the tools areL learning to keep the focus on myself, learning to not project into the future and to live in the moment and the day,: accepting that I did not cause this disease, cannot cure it, nor control it. There are many other tools that you will develop that will help guide your path.
Please know you are not alone and that there is hope
Aloha Lenii I also welcome you to the board and what Betty offered is right on and supportive...it is what I was greated with and followed up on when I first got here.
A part of the definition of alcoholism I heard when I first got into recovery while being married to an alcoholic/addict wife was that "alcoholism is a compulsion of the mind and allergy of the body"... The body gets very sick and starts dying and the mind wants another drink with all the justifications and denial to keep it happening.
Alcoholism is a "cunning, powerful and baffling disease which can never be cure and a only arrested by total abstinence". Both you and her have been affected and you are ready to seek help while she is not. Denial is a very strong tool that helps people to look at the picture of the problem and still think "there will come a day when it will all go away" or "It isn't that bad". Alcohol affects every part of the body and it is a toxic mind and mood altering chemical. What's also amazing for me was that it can take a non-drinking partner and/or family member down just as fast as it can the drinker and maybe faster.
If you not already attended Al-Anon you can find the hotline number in the white pages of your local telephone book...call that number and find out where and when we get together in your area...go as soon as you can and...keep coming back here to read and learn. (((((hugs)))))
I feel your pain. It's horrible watching your child destroy themselves. I'm unable to sleep tonight worried about my son.
One thing I know is that I have to HAVE TO let go. Letting go does not mean I don't care. I love my baby boy with all my heart! It means (for me) letting go of what I cannot control and focusing on what I can control (Me, and only me).
So, I can choose to go to bed and say a prayer. I can choose to do this even though I feel SICK with worry. Worry won't change anything, but it will make me sick if I continue.
Thank you for sharing.
Ke coming back!
P.S. I will say an extra prayer tonight for your baby as well!
K
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More of LET GO & LET GOD, Less of GRAB ON & LET ME!
