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Ive been on my own for a month slowly I've gotten into my work routine and doing positve things for myself but I still worry about my AH daily. On Sunday was a terrifying episode. He called me franitc that he couldn't breath. I went over to check on him he was throwing up so bad and hyperventilating. He was crying and screaming out to HP. I told him if he didn't calm down I was calling 911. He has lost much weight and looks awful. Looking at him I know he is doing more than just drinking. I was their for a bit and left. I knew that his promises to stop and change were empty. Im so scared he will overdose or drink himself to death. I know I can not help him. I feel so helpless. I pray daily to HP. I pray that my AH not die of an overdose. How do I deal with the consequences of this disease?
If you fear he is an emergency you cam call 911 for your A. Take care of you to the best of your ability at this time. I am sending you much love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I have been where your at today , my husband had left our home and was slowly drinking himself to death . He had been gone for about 5 months when I took some of his things to his place of business , he was the color of concrete , liver sticking out of his chest ,his clothes were dirty etc . I came home and called a AA friend who had been a big help to me in recovery , I said I have to bring him home I can't let him die alone . My friend reminded me I had two choices 1- bring him home and watch him die 2 - leave him where he was and maybe he wouldn't . I knew I couldn't live with active alcoholism again so I chose to leave him where he was and thankfully he didn't die . We have 24 yrs of sobriety in our home today and one more time I had to step aside and allow him the dignity to live or die the way he chose . I will be thinking of you today , you do what is the next best thing for you . Louise (hugs)
I am so sorry that his disease has progressed in this way. It is a natural consequence of his actions so he may be near his bottom or maybe not. I have had to think about people in my life dying too. My ex ah and my son. My son has came close a couple of times now, through been drunk and having dangerous accidents to being stabbed. I have had to try and calm my mind and accept that I am helpless and worrying myself sick will still not make a difference, so its a choice really. Worry and change nothing or dont worry and change nothing. Sounds simple but I know it isn't. I had to give up the worry, let it go, Let go and Let God, it takes practice but it can be done. I have heard old timers talk about a God box where they practice letting go by writing down their worries and posting it in a box to God, over and over again.x
How do you deal with the consequences of this disease??
You take care of yourself or the disease will take you with it.
When the A and I separated, he called me and told me he could not stand up and he was throwing up. I called 911 from my apartment and the Paramedics came and broke the door down and I could hear it on my phone. He had ruptured his esophagus and only had minutes to survive and survive he did, he also had a heart attack a few years back, and many other close to death experiences.
Three years forward and he is on a ventilator for 60 days dropped into a coma and all his organs failed and he died. This past July, 58 years old. This man was given so many chances to change his life and stop his drinking. I know its is a disease because I visit him in the hospital when he had a lucid day. I asked "Do you think you will make it". And he shook his head emphatically, "yes", I think an alcoholics quest is how they can drink and still survive. There is no such thing.
Even when he died , I had so much guilt, more stuff to work out, guilty about what?? I couldn't breathe for him, or stop his arm whenever he went for a drink. He lived longer than he was suppose too.
I have learned that what I want life to be and what it is are two very different things sometimes. If I accept life and the people in it as it and they are, I find peace and see options I didn't see. If I fight and resist life or an experience or the people in my life as they are, I twist in the wind with nowhere to stand. Being anchored in myself and in my day - which I can't do totally on my own at all times - helps me face what I fear and recognize what my part is or isn't in a particular circumstance or experience.
Being calm and totally at peace in the presence of someone who is not can help bring their fear and anxiety level down and sometimes, they, too, can hear the next step to take towards healing and wholeness. Sending you much peace and trust in your ability to know what to do and when to do it.
