The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
He is several hundred miles away, working. Things are generally as they have been for the past few years.
We spoke around 4:00 this afternoon, and he was clearly very, very drunk and he said he was sitting in his truck in the bar's parking lot. He told me he had been in a fight, because another guy at the bar had been "running his mouth" and insulting the breed of dog we have. Seriously. This is why my AH beat this guy up. Because he was saying bad things about the breed of dog we happen to have.
My AH started with his usual pity party and negativity, about how sad and depressed he is that he has to be away, and how unfair it is, and then started in with his usual passive aggressive crap about how I should generally be willing to quit my career and abandon my daughters to move hundreds of miles away to live in a city where he can find work easily right now.
He got very emotional, and started to cry. I tried to say as little as possible. He was like that for a few minutes, then grew angry and yelled at me briefly, before ending the call. He was supposed to spend the afternoon with his mother, but he called her to cancel. He admitted the fight and told her he didn't want her to see him covered in blood. He went to his dad's instead (where he has been staying).
He phoned me a couple of hours later, with his usual attitude that nothing had happened. Both our cities are locked in EXTREME cold right now, so I asked him if was planning to drive out to his job site tomorrow, or if the whole construction crew was taking the day off (it is far, far too cold to be working outside). He said they were all taking the day off, and that he planned to update some of his training at the union hall. And then go to at least one AA meeting.
Wait. What?
He said that he is afraid some of his "old demons" are coming back, and that he is going to an AA meeting tomorrow.
Now...who knows if he will go? Not me. And my happiness/serenity does NOT depend on whether or not he goes. Either way, the kids and I will be fine, and we have our own path to walk. But for his sake, and our son's sake, of course I hope that he goes. I do not EXPECT it. I do not NEED him to go. But I hope that he does.
Hugs Stephanie, sending prayers to you and your hubby. Hugs s :) ps - they have shut everything down around here is been insane with the wind. White out since about 2 in the country. We won't be leaving the house tomorrow either. Stay warm and safe!
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
((((Steph)))) done good...very good. Staying out of the way, detached. Wonderful. Keep giving that away. Its what helped turn my life around. Mahalo (((((hugs)))))
