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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I'm so scared for him.
Post Info TOPIC: I'm so scared for him.
Anise


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I'm so scared for him.
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I am so confused about my AH. We went on a family holiday for a week over Christmas. It went very well because my AH didn't drink too much. But as soon as we got home he was back at it. When he is home he sits at the computer playing a game all day (pretty much from the time he gets up til he goes to bed) and drinking from the afternoon on.  When he doesn't drink he is the best person to be around, but when he drinks I can't stand the site of him. To see him destroying himself with alcohol just rips me apart. And it infuriates me. What a waste of a life! We used to have such a good relationship and now it's just a mess. I am planning on leaving him next summer. He knows this, but it makes no difference. In two weeks he will be going away for six months for work. I can hardly wait. I am so looking forward to not having to deal with this on a daily basis. The place where he is going does not have alcohol. He seems to think this will be a cure all for him. I asked him what he thinks will happen when he gets back to his usual surroundings. I mean if he thinks quitting will be so easy, why hasn't he done it already? Why has he waited until our marriage is ruined? I am so afraid of what will become of him.no



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el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi Anise

Welcome to the forum, I understand how you feel and how hard it can be living with alcoholism, it affects us deeply. Alanon has helped me, its a program of recovery for people who have been affected by someone elses drinking. Its a worldwide fellowship, details are on the Alanon website, there are some clips there and information of where the meetings are where you live. Thanks for sharing and I hope you get yourself to a meeting as soon as you can.x

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KennyFenderjazz


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Hi Anise and welcome. Everyone here has been affected by alcohol in one way or another. Some sons and daughters, some parents, some SO. My qualifier is my alcoholic wife. (AW)

Right now she is in recovery and doing well. But I am also in recovery from this horrendous disease, and that is what we all wish for you.

Come to the board and ask questions and vent. We all understand. Even more importantly go to some face to face meetings. If AH is gone, you won't even have to explain to him. And if he is gone 6 months, he could come home to a much healthier wife - one who won't depend on him for her happiness, but instead be able to know for herself at she wants and needs based on help from a higher Power she has gotten to know.

Kenny

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pinkchip


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Anise...you can release that fear to your higher power. God has a plan for him. It may include sobriety and it may not. It's not up to you. Let his higher power guide him.

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Tricia911


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Anise............Welcome. I just want you to know you are worthy and loved. It may not feel like it right now. But, your HP has a plan for you. You can't fix your A. But, you have six months to get your head on straight. I see that as a huge gift. 

These are the things you might find helpful. Take what you like and leave the rest.

1. Go here to find a face to face meetings : http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

2. If you can't make face to face meeting join us twice a day in the chat room for cyber meeting : http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

3. Start doing as much recovery reading as possible. How ALANON works is a great first book.

4. Keep coming back. 

 



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grateful2be


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Welcome to MIP. Al-Anon meetings, literature, working the steps, learning the slogans and finding a sponsor may not do anything for him but it will do amazing things for you. We also have on-line meetings here as a supplement but face to face meetings are a big, big step towards a new life for you. If you told him you were leaving this summer in hopes he'll stop drinking, they usually don't respond to those ultimatums in the way we'd like. If you told him you are leaving this summer because you wanted him to know that this isn't a way for you to live, he may still continue drinking, but you will be moving on if you follow through. Al-Anon suggests not making major decisions (except when you're in danger) for at least 6 months after starting a program. We work on ourselves and in doing that, we can experience changes we didn't expect but are more life-giving for us. Keep coming back here, too.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Beatrice


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Anise, welcome to MIP and Alanon,

So glad you turned to us ,as others have suggested you might attend a face to face Alanon meeting.

This will help you immensely to cope with the disease of Alcoholism.

Alanon will teach you the tools to concentrate on yourself and to let go of the Alcoholic.

It will also help you to make choices and solutions for yourself that will bring you to a saner way of life.

Hugs, Bettina

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MorningGlory


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Welcome Anise~
I'm just starting this journey too, this place is very friendly and helpful. It is a place for you to get better, because you are the only person that you can change. Hope you return!



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Nothing has changed but my attitude, everything has changed.
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi and welcome to MIP! I hope you can make it to some al-anon face to face meetings soon in your local area and read all the literature you can get there. I am glad you found us and keep coming back. Sending you love and support on your journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
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