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It looks like the roommate thing is a go. I talked to the guy last night, and he most likely will be here on Tuesday. Money's going to be tight at first while the roommate finds a job, but it's not an issue to me because I've been living this way for a long time and I've made it...so far so good :) My son is also on board and I'm really optimistic about where we are heading. So what does this all mean? Where's the growth? The growth for me was that I spoke to the guy very clearly and stated my boundaries about what I will and will not accept at my house. In the past, I wouldn't have had the confidence to state what I wanted. I would've "hoped" that we were on the same page. Now I know what my boundaries are, which is important to me, and I won't be afraid to enforce them.
ABF is still in denial, drinking and drugging. He hasn't helped with anything at all, and I didn't expect any differently. He'd better listen to me when I announce that I'm setting the bug bombs off....just kidding;)
Thanks for the share, Raven. I hope this all turns out for you with the roommate. Stating our boundaries is a good first step in self-care. Having a plan to follow if they are crossed before the change helps, too.
ABF is still in denial, drinking and drugging. He hasn't helped with anything at all, and I didn't expect any differently. He'd better listen to me when I announce that I'm setting the bug bombs off....just kidding;)
i must have missed the roomate, i hope he is someone you know, checked up on, and you really talked a lot about rules, boundaries, etc...
as to ABF??? Glad you have ZERO expectations of him and it sounds like you are "cutting him loose" in your head....what else do ya do w/a body who is commiting suicide daily with his drugs and his booze....he has no life and can offer none until such a time he slams bottom and surrenders to AA and STOPS drinking and using....I would be very wary having someone like that in my house....to get his booze and drugs , its common to steal...Make sure you hide your valuables, checkbooks, anything thta he can latch onto to sell or forge to get his drugs....AND mixing alcohol and drugs, you may find him stone dead one day.....really...that happened to a person i once knew...a pal of my EX....i had hoped it would scare EX but his excuse was "well he was drugging and drinking...i only drink" and i replied "oh yea, thats right...your death will come later" BOTH are fatal if not arrested.....
please be careful of your stuff AND does the roomate know that there is a druggie/drinker room sharing too??? Or did i misunderstand something and ABF is NOT at the house???
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
N, I did some checking and from what I found, he seems fine, but I'm prepared with a jump bag (I think it's called), ready to go if need be. I know sometimes people can appear much different than their credentials would state. ABF is still here, on couch truffle status, lol...in denial about everything. I think he thought my notice I gave him around Thanksgiving was just a lot of hot air. So he'll either have to shape up or ship out. I'm asking for prayers and good vibes on another post...I'm really going to need that. Even though I'm pretty sure this is going to be a change for the better, I know there's going to be a lot of upheaval and resistance on the A's part.
Jerry...LOL! Yeah, the A has been spiraling down in rapid time for the past 4 months or so. The past month I havent seen him off the sofa much, always either smoking his spice, stoned or coming down and sleeping it all off. I've been wanting to set these bug bombs off, but he's always sleeping when I'm ready to do them. I'm tempted to just set them off and call out "Oh, make sure you shut the door on your way out!"
-- Edited by Raven Juniper on Sunday 5th of January 2014 03:16:12 PM
