The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We live in the Northeast. Husband and I both have to get to work in the am and I also drop my youngest adult child at the train station (he commutes to work). Well, last night as my husband was watching the impending snowstorm on the news, he comments, "So, what am I doing tomorrow?" Pausing for a moment I thought, "oh no ya don't..." There was a day not so long ago (when I personally micromanaged the world), that I would have fallen hook, line and sinker for a comment like that. Instead, I simply said, "Whatever it is you want to do." I kept to my side of the street, my plan, my business of getting myself to work and dropping off our son at the train. He says, "Well do you think I should snowblow the drive tonight or in the morning?" I say, "Whatever you think is fine." He gets bundled up, goes out and does the driveway. Alarm goes off at 4am, we wake up, and it is drifted shut again, he snowblows it again, and scrapes both our windshields and clears off both our vehicles. I have not had my car cleaned off in about 25 years!
I stayed out of his way, allowed him to make the decisions. I didn't get "hooked" into creating a master plan for the morning. I'm learning that I set myself up, when I do his decision making for him, I make it that much easier to get blamed when things turn out badly. Hence, No Fishing Allowed. It was a simple thing but I was very proud of myself! Yay me.
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Nothing has changed but my attitude, everything has changed.
I stayed out of his way, allowed him to make the decisions. I didn't get "hooked" into creating a master plan for the morning. I'm learning that I set myself up, when I do his decision making for him, I make it that much easier to get blamed when things turn out badly. Hence, No Fishing Allowed. It was a simple thing but I was very proud of myself! Yay me.
oh yea, we make suggestion...It fails for some reason.....They now have their excuse to mess up........its called detachment...letting them fend for themselves, take responsibility for themselves and you take care of you..........GOOD JOB
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!