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I was just looking at FB and someone posted some 20-25 yr old (high school or college?) pics one of which had AH in it. Everyone looks so cute and fresh faced and he is leaning hard on someone, with a drink in his hand (ONLY person with a drink) and just this totally out of it expression. This is around when we met.
Looking at this picture I was like "WHO would choose to marry this guy?! WHO would raise kids with him?" And then i was like... oh wait.... I did
What did that "me" back then think was lifetime material about this guy? It boggles the mind....
-- Edited by tweety23 on Friday 3rd of January 2014 04:05:14 PM
I too overlooked my exAh's bad habits when I first met him, when I was 17 and he 20 already well underway to his alcoholism, not to mention all the signs and things I put myself through to stay with him through the 15 years I hung on with everything I had. Now I look back and say wow what a journey of lots of hard lessons learned and I HAVE learned and am much better for the lessons! I am starting now this day and making the changes I can, I am today taking the best care of me possible, loving myself, getting to the gym, eating healthy, taking the dog on a walk and am not waiting around for anyone else to do these things for me or with me. I have learned to rely on myself with little to no expectations of those around me and when I slip up I am quickly reminded to stay on my side of the street. It takes time to get to the realization you have and it takes time to get through it. First you arrive at awareness, than you accept it, then you take action about it. It is a process and takes time and energy. My guy was drop dead gorgeous in his marine corps uniform waltzing into my parents house with his 24 pack of natural ice back in the day. He was smooth, funny and the life of the party. I got two great kids from him and would not change that for anything. I now know better and am making the best decisions I can for today, knowing what I now know. Don't beat yourself up it's all in the process of growing. Sending you much love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
it's amazing what we allow ourselves to go through .. it takes years to see our own disease .. if we wonder ever if we have one .. speaks for itself .. too late for me, i was already effected and the effects are what i'm powerless over in me .. there's a saying that says something like if you wanna know who the drinker/drugger is, just take a look at the spouse .. she'll be the crazy one ..
I laugh and shake my head thinking of the things I brushed off in my early twenties. Actually all the way up until I hit 40! My Ex-AH actually told me "I'm an alcoholic" while we were dating. I thought "Well you don't drink now so that's good enough for me!". I had no idea.
