The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
need to just write on here and clear my mind its going a bit AWOL!!
I have the focus on myself, my life , recovery 99% of the time and then BANG, I loose my focus.
People in my life have been affected by different illness e.g my mum is a codependent adult child. I have learnt to accept and detach i love her and want her in my life so use my programme best i can.
My partner is a recovering alcoholic he is in recovery thanks to Hp but still on a journey we hae some struggles but I love him and for today this relationship is working for me.
We have four children his two boys 21 and 19 live with their mum who has a very unmanageable life takes drugs etc. We are trying to show kids what healthy is. His youngest is coming to live with us at the weekend as his mum is facing eviction. My partner goes there as his kids live there and then al her unmanagability seeps into our home.
We went out new year and she was there and was a bit to friendly with my patner ( I trust him ) but not her. I have an ok relationship with her because I am in recovery and have compassion today. But after the other night I have been feeling angrey towards her, I know she is ill but it gets me mad, now my partner is healthy she is jelous of what we have I think. So I have been feeling different emtions so got my pen out today and prayed to Hp. I gained clarity that I do not want other peoples sickness impacting me and my home. So rang my partner and communicated my feelings. He was great totally got it and said once his son was here he was leaving her to it, he acknowledge my feelings which felt great!!!
regarding my two kids sone nearly 21 and daughter nearly 18 I have just found out my son is smoking pot and may have sold it. I was angrey at first my partner went and had a chat with him. I hve given myself space and relaise I am powerless a lecture is not going to do the job, its his life he will face consequences. So plan to just tell him I love him, I think he is better than life he is choosing but his life and detach. So although recovery is enhancing my life detachment seems to be the Tool for me at the moment. Just glad I am getting healthier and m partner because sickness is right through the family ( family disease is soooo True).
Such clarity in your post Tracy, thank you for showing how to work our tools.
Your feeling about your partner's ex resonated for me and I like the way you dealt with it. My partner has never managed to acknowledge my feelings about an inappropriate ex who came into our lives after a number of years and I've struggled with it ever since. Today I was trying to understand my lingering negativity and came across a definition of the female ego which said it included large doses of competition and territorial behaviour and that explains why, at the time, I felt like a very confused lioness with the consequence that even now I still lick my wounds! You, on the other hand, handled the situation like a pride leader! Thank you for sharing, it has helped me and my understanding and I hope that the new year brings you the best in life.
It sounds as if you truly used all your alanon tools. I realized that life keeps going on. As long as I have these fantastic tools I call handle life on life's term, with courage, serenity and wisdom.
Ty you for sharing Tracy. I agree you handled the ex well. I also commend you for fighting what looks like a five way battle while working on your own alanon recovery. Prayers. TH
