The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Blaming yourself or someone else is usually a way of avoiding some painful but significant realization.
I just read this and thought "this is a keeper for me". Perhaps it will be useful for someone else, too.
oh yea, sometimes keeping the focus on me means taking responsibility for me.....tough at time..especially when I am having a slip.......steps, 1,2,3,4 kinda set me straight.....now when i was too mentally and emotionally sick, HP cut me slack b/c for a while i was not capable of taking really good care of me, but when i was healed enough??? NOW what i do is on my "tab" my "ledger card"....i can't blame the offender anymore for my actions...I am well enough now to be responsible for me......
my offender is responsible for my injuries...responsible for my mental breakdown i had in 1970....oh yea, he is entirely responsible for causing "this little one to stumble" but NOW i am recovered enough to be responsible for me from here on in........and that suits me fine.....that means i have taken my life back
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I think when I resorted to blaming myself or others it gave me a feeling of being powerful. I had "figured it all out "and KNEW who was responsible. If I could identify the responsible person I could make them change or change myself and the problem would be gone
No acceptance or being powerless for me---Before the sanity of the program showed me a better way
My sponsor always told me "Figuring it out " is not an alanon slogan, So true
Thanks for the post PP and HotRod I can relate to wanting to blame someone to get a sense of control when your life is spinning. Neshema thanks to MIP I started my journey three days ago. It doesn't quite feel like one day at a time yet but I can do one half day at a time today. Thank you MIP
thanks hotrod .. put it in perspective for me this week .. seeing lots of defects that stem from the Need to be Important .. Blame is part of that defect .. clarifying as in a little better understanding of what i just walked through cuz you know .. who do you think gets the blame on My end ?? sheeshz .. will i ever make it to the place of acceptance .. grr thanks though .. helps ..
