The material presented
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This has been the worst year, I think, in my life.
AGF moved out, 2 days before Christmas, took the kids with her, and seems to be "blocking" them from talking to me...don't hear from them, they don't respond to calls and texts, and she keeps saying she'll have them call me, but then doesn't.
She took most of the furniture with her, so I'm sleeping on an old couch in the basement, and spent a ton of money on Christmas presents, so was going to wait until next payday to replace the items...then the car breaks down, Monday night, otw home from an Al Anon meeting, so I'm borrowing a car from my sister until next Monday when it's fixed.
New Years Eve AGF, who still claims we're "together," refuses to commit to plans, won't tell me what she's doing (she says she doesn't know, I think she's full of it, but biting my tongue and trying not to force an outcome or start an argument), so I make other plans. After the car breaks down, I'm fairly limited in what I can do, but my dad calls (the original AH in my life) and says let's go see a movie.
He lets me down, as usual, by cancelling at the last minute. I figure WTH, I'll just clean my house. I get a few rooms done and sister calls. She and I go out to dinner with my neice, and I wind up watching a movie with her...I fell asleep on the couch at about 11PM.
Yes, I'm complaining, and don't mind saying I'm indulging in a bit of self pity. That being said, between my faith and this program, it made a really bad situation, a really bad period of my life, not only bearable, but I even have a little optimism.
So thanks, to all of you here and the ones in RL, who are making sense of my chaotic life! Happy New Year to all, and let's try to make this year better than the last!!!
Hmmmm. Do you see any parallels between your Dad and your AGF? Al-Anon will be a help to you. You might want to check out the ACOA board here, too, if you haven't already done that. It appears to me that you are also doing a good job of going with Plan B and sometimes Plan C. Good self-care! Keep coming back.
Hmmmm. Do you see any parallels between your Dad and your AGF? Al-Anon will be a help to you. You might want to check out the ACOA board here, too, if you haven't already done that. It appears to me that you are also doing a good job of going with Plan B and sometimes Plan C. Good self-care! Keep coming back.
Yes, actually.
It's funny, but due to my childhood (A Father, Codependent mother), I was always on guard about becoming him...I rarely drink, but never saw myself as being on the other side of it; worrying about becoming my dad made me a bit blind to the idea of becoming my mom!
After learning a lot more about this disease, fairly recently, I do see both of my parents' "issues" in both myself and my AGF. Working on myself, and praying that she's doing the same (she's been seeing a counselor, but I'm not sure they're addressing the real issue; she has a tendency to manipulate and control her shrinks; the last one she wound up becoming friends with, not sure how this one's going).
I pray every day that she and I get "fixed," and become the family we tried to be, since there are kids involved, but prepared to follow God's plan wherever that goes, even if it's not where I wanted it to go.
Hang in there divedet. I can't imagine how hard it would be to be away from my daughter. I keep trying to decide if I can tolerate the horrible with my AH to stay close to our daughter. Not sure yet just started al anon on line meetings yesterday. 90 meets in 90 days. I'm going to do this because I have no other way to cope. I have to believe there is a way out of this sadness. You are surviving you are making alternate plans you are strong. Good luck my prayers are with you. We can all get out of this dark place. We can't quit until we do.
Hi, thank you for sharing, I liked your share, you had a good moan but you also have awareness and possibly even acceptance and are working on the action part. Im sorry about your family but you sound like you are at the beginning of a journey of self discovery and recovery. That will be such a great thing for you and your daughter. Your gf needs her own program but that is outnof your control. Keep sharing.x
I agree...Thank you God for this program...I found out by it that you loved me one heck of an amount more than anyone else including myself. I will continue to fulfill my responsibility to love myself unconditionally so you can have time off. Mahalo ((((hugs))))
Hmmmm. Do you see any parallels between your Dad and your AGF? Al-Anon will be a help to you. You might want to check out the ACOA board here, too, if you haven't already done that. It appears to me that you are also doing a good job of going with Plan B and sometimes Plan C. Good self-care! Keep coming back.
oh this is a must read again post....I saw that too....dad and now GF....yep...repeat of patterns...been there did that TWICE till program helped me get my sanity........and i, too recommend the ACOA board "next door' to here....a lot of us "straddle" between alanon and ACA, I am one of them........and yea, I agree w/ grateful....sounds like u r handling this the best you can......keep coming back...this program, honest , it WORKS....saved my life...no joke about it!!!!
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
