The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This year has been such a mixed bag for me and my family. It started with my AH passing away the first week of January. Then I had to give up our home of 25 years to the bank. My mom fell while on a walk with my on my birthday in March. She broke her arm in several places and will never have full use of her arm again. I had to have a heart procedure in May that didn't go the way it was supposed to. My son-in-law had a serious seizure in July and has not been able to drive for six months. Yikes! You'd think I would just want to crawl into my bed and never get out.
But there was good also. I found out that my AH had a life insurance policy that I didn't know about. My daughter got married to a wonderful man in October, and I became an Al-Anon sponsor for the first time.
Thank God that I have my program! It has helped me in so many ways this year. I am a different person than I was when I attended my first meeting almost five years ago. I have support, I have Al-Anon literature, I have this forum, and I now place my trust in my HP to show me the way.
Wishing all of the MIP community a wonderful 2014! Thank you for all you do to provide ESH to members like me.
WOW, GE, that was a helluva share...so much power and positive energy in it......
yea, 2013 wasn't a cake walk for me either, in different ways , it kicked my butt, but I am grateful that my kids and i are ok...
I am reaping what I sowed w/my daughter #2...I had to cut off contact....for me it was like the ending convo with us was like "for now, until you can get into acoa and or alanon, we can't have contact because i dont' accept abuse as part of my life"....and i said it this way...like not forever forever, but as long as she is not working a program, I can't "go this rodeo" anymore..
so now she is shunning me....its ok...I expected her to get pissed and i mean i was content to wave at her driving home if i saw her, and content to keep distance, polite, but def. a distance, an now SHE glares at me as she drives by me and sticks her nose up and goes on by
i accept this , for every action (taking care of me) there is a reaction (she hates me worse now, lol) but it is what it is...
I am making my own little life, with my club and soon i will be volunteering at the animal shelter and building my own life w/my programme and my close friends.....
so yea, 2013 was like a long grey winter for me, reflection on my life....assessing what i can do to make me better....what i can do to improve my circumstances....what boundaries i need to set....BIG loss of a BIG paying client every time i turned around something was breaking down and taking my money for repairs....i just had to tell HP, I was willing to let go of my crap b/c it was bleeding me dry, and it finally stopped for now
I am so sorry you lost your house, omg....mine is paid for, that is the one thing i have going for me, otherwise with these financial set backs, i would be holding a tin cup somewhere trying to get change for a room somewhere....that is the only thing that saved me....i woudl have sunk, otherwise
so yea, this year i will be glad to wave goodbye to and for some crazy reason, i think 2014 is gonna be better for me.....not big expectations, but the potential is there, lets say.......
I had some good times....got reconnected w/an old friend....came back here after a long awol that did not serve me well, i could see the coda crap creeping back in......
got a beautiful pit bull puppy out of the shelter...a rescue and a good little dog.....
made some real good decisions to "get a life" and am pursuing those goals.....
its been an up and down year for me, too, of course with my limited coping skills, unwanted events usually feel like an awful threat and i trigger.....will be working on that for the rest of my life
things to be thankful for too
daughter #1 is doing her school and soon to get her degree as a para legal....also SIL got a nice job coming up, he is in his own little construction business......
alcoholic brother is still above ground and for now, able to work and talk and sorta be part of the human race...but NO recovery for him as yet......my expectations are zero on that, but at least for NOW , he is as ok as an active A can be...
I have a lot of good good people in my life who care about me....
I feel better about me than i ever did....i see lessening in the "beating me up" verbally when I do something absent minded.....I know i can begin again....start over......
Thank you for the nice share.....i can relate....your attitude is fantastic.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hi, GE: Happy New Year to you, too. I do hope 2014 has more happy surprises for you than did 2013. You've stayed the course. You've done your best. You've been through a lot and you've supported others going through a lot, too. It can't get much better than that.