I'm new to this board. I found it searching the internet for al anon support. I have not been to a meeting yet and am looking forward to my first one. this board has basically helped me survive this week. I have been with my partner 11 years and we have been married for 3 . We have a 2 year old daughter. In April of this year my partner began free falling into major depression just as she hit this terrible time our dog died and our landlord tried to evict us for calling the housing authority about lead complaints. I did the worst thing and focused on my job, our daughter and saving our place. She was distant and angry and I stopped trying to help or fix her. In September she began a new school year and a new teacher at her job began giving her attention and constantly texting and calling her. In October my wife was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and began taking Prozac. My wife also started drinking heavily With the new teacher after work.

On thanksgiving eve I discovered an inappropriate text from the woman at work and confronted my wife. She apologized for the text and said the woman was just a co worker who had been a shoulder to cry on but that she would tell her that they could only be professional from now on. my wife did ok for a week she seemed herself and stopped drinking. She asked her psychiatrist for a change in her medication but the psychiatrist refused. Then on December 8 she began drinking again and behaving angry and anxious towards me and out daughter. Fast forward I plan a yearly vacation to California for the holidays to get away from the cold of the northeast. My wife says she feels trapped she doesn't want to go this year she needs time and space. she leaves the apartment to go drink with the new teacher comes home wasted and angry. I say please call your therapist you are in cruises and you are self medicating. She gets angrier. I call her mom and dad our close friends for help. I am afraid. I do t recognize her anymore. my daughter and I leave for California on 12/20 she changes her flight and arrives on 12/23. I cry a lot.

She arrives on 12/23 without her wedding ring. I ask her about it. She says she decided to think about out marriage. I ask her for a dry week and she refuses. Says she does not  want to hide her drinking. The  week is slow and I live hour by hour. On Friday I discover the new teacher has been texting her all week. I confront her I ask her why she changed the woman's contact name ? She says nothing And starts drinking. I cry some more. Our daughter asks her why momma is sad and if she loves momma. She walks away says nothing. the other woman was in another relationship with a someone who was depressed and uses all the "key phrases" peppered in her messages to my wife "keep your chin up" " I miss you " " I'm worried about you, you are. you are not alone." I tell my wife that the other woman is the only person benefiting from her continued anger and drinking. That we all love her and want her to recover. My wife says I'm the reason she drinks. I cry some more. My wife flys back home on 01/01. I change the flight for me and our daughter to 01/03. I tell her I don't want to cry while she texts the other woman and I don't want to watch her drink to make herself feel better. She says nothing. I'm out of cards. I cannot save this marriage alone and she is locked in a pattern of drinking with Prozac and relying on the other woman to keep her angry. Any help anything to get me through this dark time would be great. I know I can't make her see anything or make her care about our marriage. I still cry a Lot.