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Hi all. A new and frightening topic. My ex A has dementia and alcoholic wet brain, along with black outs. He is totally unstable. A former serviceman as well with PTSD. He has a firearm and ammo. He is currently trying to get a permit to carry a concealed weapon. We haven't been together in years. But comes for Grandchildrens birthdays, holidays etc if he isn't creating drama then (won't make my kids pay for what he does....the added stress of step families was tremendous on them). All has been well as far as he and I are concerned. However he has taken to calling me lately when his wife isn't around etc. He is intoxicated most of the time, driving (physically a wreck, multiple alcoholic varices, pancreatitis, PVD etc, 100% disabled). Falls out of his wheelchair, injures self, refusing medical care, calling 911 on son etc and making No Sense. The firearm is the frightening thing. I called our state agency that handles this, if there are no charges, he can get it! He drives with an open container (vodka), I have called on him before and no one cares. Any suggestions? I will take this to a legal channel if I have to and work to change laws to protect innocent people. He use to abuse me, cold cocking me, sneaking up behind me, lifting me off the floor by my throat, strangling me, telling me he'd kill me etc. He is physically incapable of this now, but not with a firearm. Concerned for my sons, and grandchildren too. He still drives (so he can get his stash). People turn and look the other way, ie deputy neighbor who sees him going to wrong houses, falling, obviously intoxicated etc........this has happened for years. Lots of law enforcement enablers. FYI, the kids are no longer going to go over. But he can drive....ugg.
Keep pursuing the ban on him having a weapon unconcealed and you are justified with seeking and getting a TRO...I recommend it fully as a former Alternatives to Violence men's case manager. Do that for you and your family. ((((hugs))))
Does he have a record? At least in my state if you are psychologically compromised you can't get a license to carry let alone a gun. If you feel your safety those you love are in danger I would start documenting now .. It's a long process you have to have proof not just a gut feeling. In my case I made sure everything that is said is in writing of some kind. That way as soon as he went across the gray line I was able to get what I needed to protect the kids and I. Granted it has started with me it's moving towards the children now based upon his behavior.It takes time. I can tell you from experience I get a lot further when I am detached vs emotional. Hugs s :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I'm with Jerry on this. He is a danger to you, to himself, to everyone around him. A dying brain doesn't recognize reality as it is and has no control over itself. I watched my son's brain healing and what the body does as the brain heals from an injury was terrorizing on many days. This brain isn't on its way up. It's on its way down. I'd change whatever patterns he knows from your marriage together, too. The fact that he is calling you although he's married would definitely be a wake up call. Keep us posted. Lots of prayers!
in MY take of TX....you can carry a gun, BUT you can't have any priors, NO troubles w/the law of any kind.....you have to go through some classes where they can notice if you are sound or not in the head......i would, if i were you, be very careful about my comings and goings and i would fight to keep him away from guns.....he is dangerous, what i get from your post, he is too dangerous to be owning a gun.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thank you all. Jerry, what is that TRO? I am emotionally detached from him. My life is So peaceful! Have been married 13 years now...our arguments, far and few b/t are Mild Mild compared to when I was with my A. However, I, being a nurse, have worked with traumatic brain injuries. I am so with grateful2be. I've also worked psych (my least fav, but have worked it none the less, including charge nurse of the county Crisis Center)......So what scares me is his instability. I Promise, should anyone, anywhere be harmed by him, I WILL tell the press, anyone who will listen that I TRIED to protect the public from him and all attempts went without success and all blame lays with them. Including the VA, Adult Protective Services (he is clearly a danger to himself and others). The reality that he can easily pull a trigger, and has been out of his head......frightening. Long ago since he's abused me. But he did. Also his ex called my son here a few weeks ago crying that he was out driving with open vodka and was being mean to her. He is an Lt above the knee amputee, a huge belly from his liver and pancreas so physically cannot do much. But drives to get his stash. Use to take 40 hydrocodones, 20 valiums and something else I forgot each day. Still drives out of town to drs who are pushers. Not my bag or concern. The gun is though. People feel sorry for him with his missing leg etc and let him slide for some reason. He drives majorly slow. He was ticketed for assaulting me once, hoping it will stop the process even though in 96 or so. I left after that. He was let go from the fire dept for receiving controlled substances there, under someone elses identity. A smaller community, they let him resign with no charges after interrogating him all night. But decades ago. He personally knew all of the police, sheriffs, and state patrol. He's just always skated. Except for imprisonment in his teens (state pen), and he made a deal so went into Marines. Thus a trained killer. Was spewing off about Marines being god to son the other night. FYI, he can't even get up to my house without help. But a concealed weapon??? What the heck for??? The lose screw? State Patrol is checking into his history after I called them, and God willing that old domestic violence ticket will do the trick, along with his loose screws.
Lots of prayers and encouragement, Grace. We've lost our common sense in this nation. Everybody has a right to do about everything except go without paying taxes. You haven't lost sight of your responsibility as a citizen to my way of thinking.
