My mother. - Al-Anon Family Group

frustratedteengirl · Newbie

My mother.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

I do not think your feelings are unusual at all. I think most kids of alcoholics feel that way at times. Welcome.

frustratedteengirl · Newbie

Thank-you :) I just sometimes feel like a monster, my friends don't understand, I have lost one because of it :(

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Frustratedteen

Alcoholism is a dreadful disease over which we are powerless. You did not cause it, cannot control it ,and cannot cure it.

You are not alone. We who live or have lived with this disease understand as few others can. We have on line meetings here 2xs a day and there are alanon face to face meetings held in most communities. I urge you to check them out and attend. There is hope and help for you.

-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 28th of December 2013 08:07:07 PM

Rose50 · Senior Member

Welcome -

I strongly suggest Al-Anon meetings. I can understand your feelings - you are not alone.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I grew up with a hate for my mother and it took a long time, distance, counseling and al-anon to get through it all. I hope you can find some al-ateen or al-anon meetings in your area and get to as many as you can. No one can understand like others that grew up in alcoholic homes as well. I am glad you found us and hope you keep coming back. Sending you much love and support on your journey!

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP

You are not alone here. We understand what your going through that many can't understand. Please keep coming back and let us give you some ESH that you so need right now.

You need to start taking care of you and Al-anon can help you with that. Face to Face meetings you can be with others that know about alcoholism and how much it can destroy your life if you let it. You might be able to find a Al-ateen meeting....where the people are your age. Check it out.

In the mean time keep coming back my dear.

(((( hugs ))))

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you for sharing with us. It took courage to admit how you are feeling about your mom and you are not a horrible person. Your mom is sick and has caused you alot of pain. You need to share that pain with people that understand so it does not make you sick. The others have made some good suggestions. Please share with us whenever you need to.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP. I can certainly understand how you are feeling. Even teens who don't have alcoholic moms can sometimes feel resentment in relationship to their parents. Alateen is a good place for teens to meet other teens who have or are feeling the same way and can understand what you are going through now. I hope you go to some meetings. At first, you might feel a little afraid and not sure you want to go, but please do just to find out if the meetings are right for you. You won't lose any friends there because you feel resentment. Most, if not all, know exactly how you're feeling and why. As the others have suggested, please keep coming back here, too.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Teen)))) welcome to the board and now you know you are not alone and not bad or ugly because of your feelings for your alcoholic Mom who isn't bad either...she's sick as you are from this life threatening disease. Go to the white pages of your local telephone book and look up the hot line number for Al-Anon and call it to find out where and when we meet in your area and if there is any Alateen groups available also. Alateen rocks...I know cause I was part of it for 6 years. Still yet Alateen is a part of Al-Anon and you are qualified to attend. Stay with us...If your mom learns that you are speaking out for help because of your reaction to her drinking you could get more flak. We are use to that and we can help alot. Glad you found us...make us a favorite site and keep coming back. ((((hugs)))) smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi! Glad you found us! mip is a very cool, safe place. YES I would say about All of us sure know how you feel. I want to say this one thing that may help. I know you love your mom, what you hate is the behavior!

The disease of addiction does not make people very loveable. Trouble is they were born with a good chance of being one, in their dna. So they did not choose it.

Plus hon she does not choose to drink or whatever. The disease causes her body and mind to crave it, has a continual urge for it even moreso than we get the urge to drink water!

Al Anon can help you, Alateen too if you can find a meeting there. At the bottom of my post here is a number you can call to find a meeting in your area. Believe me they are HAPPY to see new faces. We all walk in feeling nervous and weird. You do not have to say a word if you don't want to. We have meetings here online also if you want to check one out, so you can see how meetings are done.

It's very courageous of you to make this huge step! If you need help finding a meeting or need one on one, you are welcome to pm me. I was happily a teacher in the high school for years and loved my kids. teens are the most fun for me!

Soo a good book to help you sorta understand an Alcoholi, Addict, we use A. AH is alcoholic husband, AM alcoholic mother etc. At the top of the board you see that questions answered place. It will help you.

I hope you stick with us. I have been at his geez 12 years or so. Mip is so easy, friendly and safe. If you ever need me, pm me!

YOu can find a home here I promise. sending you love,debilyn!

MeTwo2 · ~*Service Worker*~

It's hard to feel love when we're feeling so much pain. What are we supposed to feel? It's normal. Alanon is a place where Many understand as perhaps few others can. It's a spiritual program where noone gives advice and yet we learn from experts because what makes an expert? People who have lived with the problem of alcoholism for many, many years. Since we learn by experience as human beings, when others share there experience, they give us strength and hope. Part of my problem was I thought I Needed others to get better before I could .. My own mother passed away this weekend; not from alcoholism, she was 89. It had, however, greatly affected her own life. She will be Greatly missed but I am grateful I was able to come to terms with our relationship and we were able to reach the place of healing we did .. For years, believe it or not, I said I was grateful to the alcoholic (addict) in my life for leading me to alanon. Today, I know, I am grateful to my mother. (I Never thought I would say that!) Our relationship was rocky from the getgo for many, many years. Growing up, I believed I Needed my mother to make an amends to me (change) that would give me healing before I could get better myself. It made Sense, she was hurting me. Not as in boohoo she hurt my feelings, but hurting as in harming (damaging) very much in the same way the addict and alcoholics were. She never hurt me physically but emotionally and verbally, life was hard. I know today, however, the number one person to hurt me was me. I held on to resentments, anger, blame, and hurt, etc.. for many years. It was like drinking poison and waiting for others to die. (to feel guilty at last and make that change, shame, accountability, etc .. something) Alanon is the place to be. Face to face meetings will help you if you are willing to attend. Noone needs to share, even listening will bring about healing if we keep an open mind. If you could find alanon at 17? How Truly blessed you will be. I found in my 40s. Each of us finds it when we are ready. The fact you are reaching shows huge willingness in you and at such a young age. (Age being just a number, not maturity level or baby, etc.. ) Who knows, the gifts you receive in alanon should you attend might even extend to your mother someday. Alanon is a place you will find unlimited help. Good luck to you in this. Keep coming back and sharing !! Hugs ..

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

ftg, welcome to MIP! Here is a place you can come when the rest of the world doesn't understand. Alcoholism is such a strange disease, most people that aren't involved in it don't understand it at all. This causes conflict not only with your alcoholic, but with the outside world, resulting in isolation, which causes depression and anger.

Al Anon helps people deal with this, and even flower in situations that would seem hopeless to those outside Al anon.

In addition there is a program called Ala Teen, which is really geared toward your situation. If you go to an Al Anon meeting can help guide you towards where you should be.

Rest assured that everyone in Al Anon or Al Ateen understands your situation, and won't be scared of your anger. And it's best to deal with this situation now. My wife is a child of an alcoholic in her late forties, and she is still dealing with things that happened in her teen years.

Peace
Kenny

-- Edited by KennyFenderjazz on Saturday 1st of February 2014 11:59:13 AM

-- Edited by KennyFenderjazz on Saturday 1st of February 2014 12:01:24 PM

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