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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> An emotional day
Post Info TOPIC: An emotional day
pinkchip


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An emotional day
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This Christmas morning was incredible. My partner surprised me by actually having bought the wedding bands we liked. He put mine in my stocking. It was wonderful. ..very emotional. Then I went to work. Many of the client were down. Some were on the verge of leaving AMA. They all have lots of issues and problems and it's difficult to be in rehab at Christmas.  I expect this though...but also...It was emotional. Okay...so then, we went to visit a friend in the hospital. I knew it was serious. This is one of our closest friends. We found out 2 days ago that what he thought was a pinched nerve in his arm and neck was actually rapidly progressed nonhodgkins lymphoma. That was bad enough but when we got there, he'd had a series of strokes and organs we shutting down. His partner of 20 years is the sweetest man ever (and also works at a rehab like me). So, it was gut wrenching.  So full of life a week ago and now on life support. Doctors were giving differing information ranging from he is brain dead and start thinking what he would want to..don't give up hope just yet we are doing all we can.  So sad. Lots of crying. Holding his hand. Urging him to wake up...hang in there. Comforting his partner. Making sure documents were in order too since they are a gay couple. Thank God everything is legally set up for the partner to be the one to make all decisions. Please pray for my friend Val. He is a beautiful person. It does not look good but prayers for God's will.  

I started the day embracing my upcoming wedding, then worked with my clients struggling to get sober and fix their lives, then it was watching my friend hovering on the edge of death and helping his partner cope. This was the most up, down , emotional Christmas ever but I am grateful because this is all life. At least I am sober to get married, have this meaningful job, and be there for sick and ailing friends. Drunk Mark had none of that because he refused to grow up and show up for life. I hope you all had a good Christmas. Peace, love, and health...

Mark



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SerenityRUS


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Hugs Mark,

Life is like that .. I woke up feeling sorry for myself and read about a family loosing their 7 year old today. It puts things into perspective how fast things can change and what there is to be grateful for .. one of the biggest things was focusing on the fact I have both of my kids and today I am not facing burying one of them. It kind of is a kick in the pants. Things may not be the way I want them to be .. I could be facing so much more and I'm grateful that is not my lesson today.

Praying for your friend and his situation everything can turn on a dime and it is a realization that I am not in control and what control I think I have over outside situations is a true hallucination. I heard a story that helps me deal with sudden unexplained loss of a loved one and pretty much it goes like this .. God decided that the persons work here was done and needed them to be called home so they could do further work as an angel guarding and guiding those they loved on earth. They could do more with God than they could accomplish on earth because they had finished what God had set them to do here. We will shed tears of sadness, pain, joy, we will always be richer for those touching our lives and allowing us to care. Knowing there is someone else who there in the spirit world encouraging me when I think I want to give up, give in, is something I cherish.

I realize it sounds trite .. it helps me radically accept the things I want to rail against, .. why things happen the way they do at times. Working in the funeral business for a few years it puts into perspective what any one person should be grateful for on any given day and how short our time here on Earth is. For me if I didn't believe in something bigger and better than just here on earth I don't think I could have coped with a couple of situations I watched unfold at the funeral home.

Sending love, prayers and support, S


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Jerry F


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Carry on Mark...This is life on life's terms and it is what it is.  You played your part and a good part it is...You're blessing and being blessed and that sounds like an invitation for the gratitude you shared.  Mahalo.   (((hugs))) smile



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neshema2


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I started the day embracing my upcoming wedding, then worked with my clients struggling to get sober and fix their lives, then it was watching my friend hovering on the edge of death and helping his partner cope. This was the most up, down , emotional Christmas ever but I am grateful because this is all life. At least I am sober to get married, have this meaningful job, and be there for sick and ailing friends. Drunk Mark had none of that because he refused to grow up and show up for life. I hope you all had a good Christmas. Peace, love, and health...

*****************************
((((((((((((((((Mark)))))))))))))))))))))  Reading your post confirms for me that life can change for the good or sad on a dime......

I am so grateful that you have enough recovery under your belt to see that in every dark cloud there is some light....you are sober...loving ....contributing to the healing of others.....and I am sure that your dear friend who is losing his mate appreciates you....I was saddened to read this, but uplifted seeing your sad, yet gentle wisdom in all this....Life can be so beautiful one minute and cruel the next.....

I decided becuz of that fact to reach out and grab as much life as I can....the codep, bitter, afraid, cycnical Neshema is turning into someone more self caring and sticking to her boundaries, I am softening in my attitudes, more forgiving to the ones who make honest human mistakes and I am more open to better ways of thinking and doing things..thanks to my recovery community.... yes, i am scared a LOT, but i bring my fears with me...I invite them to "come along" because I am gonna live and live as good as I can becuz  there are no guarantees beyond right now and i am going to "show up" too....

the cyncial part of me, yea, lopping off expectations that are unreasonable and unrealistic., but still saying  "I can"  "life CAN be better if I make me better"   You have done this so admirably adn it will carry you through this rough time....and know that where there is life, there has to be hope....

Of course I will pray for Val and his partner....and I , too, am glad that they took care of the legal stuff so no speed bumps should this go badly

I don't know the outcome...Is this the end of this man's journey or not, but I will ask creator to embrace all of you in love and comfort and to , whatever is meant to be for the man who is so sick, to hold him tenderly in his arms and tell him,  "yes, my beloved...You are safe and I will hold you".....because that is what God is doing with him....he is cradling him in his arms...

I will also ask Creator to give you and your mate the strength to help this friend in deep need right now....So sad for him!!!!   Tell him he has about 2 dozen or so alanoners in his corner....All praying and sending him love........PEACE, my friend



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PP


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Congratulations and prayers, Mark....



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Paula
grateful2be


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Oh, my! What a day, Mark. Thank you for giving us a peek at your day - both the sorrows and the joys contained within it. So many prayers for your friends, for your clients and for you, too.

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Cathyinaz


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What a day you had.  Christmas this year for you was happiness and sadness all rolled up in one.  How nice it is to be able to process and deal with anything that comes your way.   HP is truly in your corner.

I also got a ring for my Birthday this year.  Beautiful and a loving thing for my SO to give me. 

You and your friend are in my prayers that HP will give you both peace...

 

((( hugs )))

 

 



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ilovedogs


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I think we all have days like that at some point and it boggles my mind as to why it has to be so up and down out of nowhere. I will send up prayers for your friends, I can't imagine the pain and the struggles they are going through. Thank you for sharing your joy and your pain. Much love to you this holiday season!

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hotrod


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Dear Mark

I am happy for your joy and sobriety and will pray for your friend.



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Betty

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el-cee


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Thanks for sharing, what a Christmas you have had and Im glad you are taking part in life, your acceptance comes through, of the good and the bad, you are a great example to me, its so important to be grateful for what we have and accept the bad parts for being part of life. Again congratulations, what a lovely way to get your rings, remember and show them off!!!!

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Debilyn


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I am so sad for you all,and for the two friends losing each other.

I think it was five others and I helped our dear, loved, friend scott when horrible aids complications took him away. it was so hard to see his partner so upset. His dog was a basket case. We broght him home from the hospital and took care of him, until he passed. Was the most horrible beautiful time. I felt so blessed Mark to have been there.

Sounds like you have found someone very special. I am so very very happy about that.

sending your love and a long hug> i will pray for a soft passing for your dear friend. debilyn



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pinkchip


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Hard to tell what's going on. He is fighting but has so much to recover from.

Edit: Doctors just came in. It is looking very dismal.



-- Edited by pinkchip on Friday 27th of December 2013 03:05:08 PM

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grateful2be


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Continued prayers, pc, for everyone concerned.

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PP


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I am sorry, Mark.



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Paula
Cathyinaz


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Prayers are with all of you.....


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
bud


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sending prayers

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