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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Christmas Eve Upset
Post Info TOPIC: Christmas Eve Upset
Dotty2


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Christmas Eve Upset
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I posted about 9 days ago that I was concerned my son had started drinking again after close to a year recovery. Two days ago I discovered a $100 bill was missing from my purse. Tonight I am missing lottery tickets that were gifts. I went into my son's room and found several of my gift cards that I had rounded up the other day to start using. They were in his bureau. I am so upset! 

Al-Anon is kicking in, though. I am not reacting but thinking it through. My holiday will go on. I am having 17 people for dinner tomorrow. I thought of running to a meeting, but I really have to prepare for tomorrow. Perhaps I can get to tonight's online meeting. I gathered up all my jewelry and put it in the attic safe. I will talk with a program person and not worry my mom and brother. My son is facing prison if he has another violation. The judge who has been wonderful told me if things start to go wrong to call his PO. I don't have to make a decision tonight. I AM going to confront him. I can not go through this anymore. I know that.

th

the thing is he was tested by his PO today! But I know there are ways of getting around the tests.i don't want to believe he is drinking and /or using again, but I have to face the facts. My friend says I am always spot on.

I am so upset but I am not out of control. I WILL get through this. I deserve the right to a happy life. I have done everything for him, spent thousands, visited him in jail for two years, welcomed him back to my home. I am done. He is on his own now.

 

 



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Cathyinaz


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I'm so sorry you have to find this out today But I'm glad you not reacting at this time. Enjoy your Christmas day with family....your doing the right thing for you.

I will pray for you and your son this Christmas Eve when I light my candles for all of us.

May HP bless you my friend...you are not alone



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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Mimi3


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~Dotty2~

You are spot on! You have the right to a good life:) 

I love your spirit! You are working your program, what a blessing Al-Anon is!!!

Have a Very Merry Christmas with your guests!!!

Prayers & hugs!



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Cindy 
mm830


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I am so sorry that you had to go through that, but I applaud how you are handling it. Yes you do deserve a wonderful holiday and I love how you refuse to let your son steal your joy. Prayers and good wishes to you. Great job handling this.

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trelani


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I admire your strength and resolve to go on with your plans. My spouse is the drinker and I don't have guests over anymore. He is also on probation for DUI not supposed to drink or if caught can violate and go to jail. Until it happens I don't think they believe it will happen., they have a blind spot to consequences. My prayers are with you that you have a peaceful holiday in spite of whether he is relapsing. We did not cause it, can 't cure it....its all on them....GOD BLESS! Trelani

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me
bud


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Good working your program. Enjoy the holiday and keep doing the next right thing for you- whatever that is. Prayers to you and your family.

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Debilyn


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Dotty I have faced things like this. I want to share this with you. When we take away natural consequences of the A we are taking away that which may make him grow and learn.

If he steals from you, he will steal from anyone. If he is caught in someones home, believe me the consequences could be worse than you calling his PO.

We think we are protecting them, but in truth we aren't.

Will he hate you....never. He took the chance more than once to steal from you. He KNEW what can happen, and what should happen. Sounds like you have given so very much....but to what end? Look where he is now.

Most everyone in a prison or jail is an addict. If it works like here in Oregon, they go to a holding place where they are evaluated to find out where he would get the best help. Hopefully he will want a place with AA meetings, classes whatever there is that is positive.

I hope you find for you, to allow him a chance to face his own mess. I always told my son I would NOT visited him if he ever went to jail or prison. He never went.

He must be allowed to fall to know how to get up. You already taught him that

sending you oodles of hugz and love! Debilyn



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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Christmas Eve Upset