The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One thing that's going on with me is that I'm realizing I'm still just as manipulative as always - I just know how to hide it under recovery slogans - sayings - and ideas. The things that I've 'learned' I'm just now using to still get what I want from people - and try to make them what I want them. What I have been working on is just accepting people for who they are - what they are - how they are, and focusing on what I can change, which is me - my attitude about things or them or anything, and just being along side people and not letting what they do or say have any affect on me at all - just focusing more on the relationship I build with my HP which is a private one, but does change my other relationships as a byproduct since I lose the codependency and the manipulation to try and make my world safe. My world is safe. I have the power to look at the good or the bad, and I have been focusing on negative and of course with negative results. So I am owning it - being responsible for that choice - and allowing my HP to remove that character defect. Life is never easy - but with the program, it can all be worth it. Feeling good - thanks for letting me share.
Really great topic! Thank you for your honest share and I relate.
I spent so long protecting myself with childhood "survival skills" and unhealthy learned behaviors, that I hadn't realized that manipulation was strewn through these patterns- my patterns. Fear and negativity are underlying currents that initiated and perpetuate this. I am still becoming aware of what are and what are not my responsibilities; quite humbling to learn that I have unhealthy thinking and that I place my responsibility on someone else for them to carry and manage. It is also humbling to learn that I have embraced negativity and allow it to manifest and that this was a choice.
I am grateful for the correction and every time a correction surfaces and for the opportunity to become more honest and true to myself- it does feel much better to live in this place. I don't want to be manipulative -just as much as how I don't want to engage with someone else's manipulations- and feel better knowing if I am living life without doing so. I notice that my anxiety and fears lessen when I manage my responsibilities and choices; also when I recognize and repel negativity.
Thank you for your clarity and honesty. The program does work in very subtle ways. I too found that I will always be a work in progress. I can use healthy tools to revert back to my old comfortable behavior .
Thank you alanon for the Steps and the suggestions that I rework them every year. I get a chance to grow deeper in my Spirituallity and my program flourishes.
I am a work in progress Thanks for sharing the journey
So I am owning it - being responsible for that choice - and allowing my HP to remove that character defect. Life is never easy - but with the program, it can all be worth it. Feeling good
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yep....own it...accept it....make proper amends even if it (amend) is to me and practice it.........nope life isn't easy, but it does not have to be the horrible, life shattering experience it used to be for me.....I wll never get over what happened to me, but i can make my peace w/my pain and do something about the rest of my life...with programme, i can make my life better, healthier.............nice share, Tash....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I love when I hear shares that own/accept humanity and exude humility....yours does just that. It is a place I like to be and fail miserably, sometimes, and that is ok. I keep on going. Thanks for the honest share....
