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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I have no guilt no matter what my X says
Post Info TOPIC: I have no guilt no matter what my X says
Cathyinaz


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I have no guilt no matter what my X says
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Hi Everyone

Had quite a morning.  My son is in the hospital and then will be transferred to I'm guessing a mental facility.   He tried to do himself in......because I told my son too many things that hurt him so bad he couldn't take it anymore.   The apartment complex found him half inside and outside of his door.  

I find out my son will be OK just really messed up...

Next the Apartment complex called me and gives me 48 hours to get my son's belongings out.  I told them they had to tell my son when he's able to understand...but they said no they will lock the stuff up and charge him for storage.  They also called his father. 

Next I get the call from my X that he will never forgive me for what I have said in those texts and the email I sent to my son.  He says my son will never forgive me either he thinks. 

My X will be down tomorrow afternoon to get my son's stuff and take it to his place. He will come back down when my son is released and take him home with him.  He will not let our son be homeless. 

I can go live my life with my piece of S*** SO

I have to honest....I pray for my son and love him dearly and want him well .....BUT my X is clueless.   Absolutely clueless to this disease.   I didn't even try and explain my side. I didn't even say your making a mistake Bill.  I let him tell me off and tell me how cruel I am.  My X needs to learn just like I'm learning.   I pray for him and our son.

I pray to God things will change for the better but I know in my heart it's going to be a very long journey for everyone concerned. 

((( hugs my MIP fanily )))   for being here for me. 

PS:   Say a little prayer for my X....he is going to need it 

PSS:  I knew something was going to give sooner or later just didn't know how or when or how bad.   Thank you God my son is not dead. 

 

 



-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Wednesday 18th of December 2013 09:27:22 AM

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Mattie


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RE: I have no quilt no matter what my X says
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{{{{{Cathy}}}}}}



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el-cee


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Dear Cathy 

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I will pray for you and your family. You sound so good, you are so right that your ex has to learn the same as you did, you never justified yourself and that is so healthy. There is no way angry words from a Mother are to blame for this and you know that. This is all 100% about his disease. This may be his bottom. I truly hope it is. You take care of yourself and dont let these angry words that are NOT true penetrate your soul. Sending you my love.x

 

Lorna.x



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SerenityRUS


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Cathy .. hugs .. you are doing a great job of working your program and staying on your side of the street. Hugs s :)

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

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LeenieBeanie


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(((Cathy)))

I can only echo what El Cee has said: this is his disease and hopefully this is his bottom. kudos to you for not "taking care " of his apartment contents and scrambling to find him a facility. You have been there, done that, so many times. I will continue to keep you and your son in my prayers, as well as your EX. It's only a matter of time before he understands the extent of your son's alcoholism.

Take care of yourself, Cathy.



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PP


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Ditto to what the rest of the family here has already stated...wanted to add that your HP gave you some RED BULL strengthbiggrin  Yay for you! And prayers for all concerned, with a few extra hugs for your son.



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Paula
ParisMemories


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Dear friend Just want to tell you how good you are doing and I'm so proud of you. It is hard to not give in to the guilt, but you know that you love your son and you didn't cause ANY of this. Sending you hugs and prayers today. Keep taking care of Cathy.

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yanksfan51


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Cathy:

You sound so strong, many prayers for you and your family

YF



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hotrod


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Prayers for all concerned



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Betty

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grateful2be


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Lots of prayers. We get the blame no matter what. We don't have to accept it. The rest of the world can see us as the ones who should or the ones who will. Fortunately, that simply isn't true. If it were true - we could have waved our magic wands long ago and our kids would be healed. Lots of prayers for you, your son and your x.

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neshema2


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PP wrote:

Ditto to what the rest of the family here has already stated...wanted to add that your HP gave you some RED BULL strengthbiggrin  Yay for you! And prayers for all concerned, with a few extra hugs for your son.

 Ditto and Ditto from me too  AND i will send you all prayers too.........U DID GOOD!!!! ((((Cathy))))



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Rose50


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For what it's worth, I totally agree with everyone here. You did the right thing by your son. Hopefully, something will click for him and he will seek recovery. I am glad that he's safe.

Sending prayers .....(((hugs))))

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pinkchip


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When he finally gets sober, there will be nothing for him to forgive...It is all caused by his alcoholism. He will be needing to make amends. My biggest amends were to my parents. It never EVER occurred to me that I needed to forgive them. For what? They didn't turn me into a drunk.

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mm830


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Cathy you did the right thing, this has nothing to do with your words and everything to do with your son's.disease. I am very sorry for your pain and that of your son, your X has to learn on his own. You and your family will be in my prayers, hopefully this will be a wake up call.

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Green Eyes


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Sending you prayers and support, Cathy. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Way to work your program and stay on your side of the street.



-- Edited by Green Eyes on Wednesday 18th of December 2013 01:52:05 AM

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Raven Juniper


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(((Cathy))) You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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milkwood


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((((((((Cathy)))))))))
You sound so strong and focused - well done and well handled. It must have been very tough to live this latest saga, but you are a wonderful lady and can stand proud.
I totally agree with Pinkchip - I would be very very surprised if your son ever feels that you need to be forgiven for anything. Your X will learn this I'm sure.
Sending prayers and remembering those lovely holiday views that you shared with us

PS Raven Juniper - how did my cat get stuck in your Christmas tree?!

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ClearTheFog


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(((CAthy))) Sending you all my best wishes and prayers.

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AngelicH57


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I'm so sorry Cathy that you will be the scapegoat in all this but it's not your fault it's your son's, they always have to blame someone else it's never their fault!
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}


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Cathyinaz


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Thank you so much everyone. Life is a little scary right now but it will pass.

I'm going to have to tell you what happen to me on my way home yesterday. I stopped to get gas and decided to bring my SO home a hamburger from Burger King. I'm getting his drink and I looked over to a booth with a little old man sitting there that had just finished his meal. He smiled at me and I smiled back and said hello. He said hello back. I noticed the biggest cross he had around his neck. He saw me looking and started talking to me. So I listened to a 93 year old man....his name Rev. Chester. He has been all over the world preaching and living his life for God. He talked to me for 40 minutes telling me stories of God's love and how he can heal. He held my hand and we prayed for my son and he made me repeat his words asking God to take the demons from my son and heal him.

I don't know what to make of it. Why this man was there and why he told me his stories. He gave me his card and asked me to call him when I see my son healed. He gave me 3 CD's on God's healing and love for us. He blessed me and told me I'm a child of God and am ready for him in heaven. He said I'm welcome to come to church on Sunday....the one right across the street...he's pointing.

When I walked with him to his car I thought it would take a while because he had a cane. Well, not in the least....he could walk as fast as me. He drives, coherent and didn't talk like he was rambling just wanting to talk to somebody because he was alone or lonely.

????

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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
ClearTheFog


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What a great story! I'm so glad to hear you had that experience. And thanks for sharing it. That's one of those "restoring my faith in humanity" things.

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oldergal


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God sent you an angel....BELIEVE, it really happens, how beautiful....og



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heythere


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Nothing is a coincidence. He was sent to you in your time of need. ((((hugs))))


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Mari1978


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(((Cathy)))

Sounds as though your HP was giving you a hug too :)

You refuse to stand in your son's HP's way and your X's.

Many prayers and love and support to all.

M

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SerenityRUS


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Hugs Cathy what a Lovely story! Hold onto that because I believe God talks to us through many venues. Hugs s :)

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Jen61


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That just brought chills to me. I too believe he was an angel.

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Debilyn


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huge progress! I am so proud of you for knowing what you say and do is the right course!

We do not know what will happen to him at Dads.Yes it will be an education for dad no matter what.

Glad you son is ok.

So what are you up to??? love,debilyn



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Rose50


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This was no coincidence - I believe your HP sent an angel. What a wonderful experience !!

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pinkchip


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I started having more of those experiences after being in recovery. My eyes were more open to my fellows. I was more approachable too. Awesome Cathy!

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