The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no food and my heart sank..I prayed about it ,but I allowed him hoe. not even 3 days later he was arrested for theft ,and released the same night.He is on methadone theu the local clinic and I have contact with his counselor, asking to help direct me....Nothing has changed!! shocker...I find myself in prayer more often than not...I am fighting to keep myself on track today..a min at a time...breathing...I feel so that all I want to do is cry, and let it out but the fear is overwhelming...I tend to freeze with fear and shut down completely but this is not healthy so today I decided to get out of my head ,if even only for this time here on the message board..I have to believe that all will work out the way its supposed to ,but I need to do what I have to do too..s for today its coming here, letting go of some of this pain, breathing and releasing...anyone else ever fall into this pitfall??? sorry for the jumble, just reaching out trying to reconnect, any feedback is so greatly appreciated, Thanks for listening, Carla
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"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
Yes, Carla. I did have some of your experience. I agreed to let my son move back in with me when he was at his lowest. That should have been my first clue, but hey! Who knew???!!! I had to learn I couldn't truly help my son because he truly didn't want to make any changes at the time. He agreed to my terms before moving in with this mouth.
His actions told me he didn't mean it. When the contract was broken on his end, then I no longer held up my end of it. He had to find another place to live. Of course, he didn't want to, but it was that or I called the police to report a problem I was noticing. He chose to move. There was a third choice - working his program - but he didn't want to do that. I honored his choice. I honored my need for a safe, secure and peaceful home.
Welcome home Carla...I don't know of anyone including myself who hasn't been in or lived in the pit and we don't own it. Its only temporary while we learn and practice another way of living. I have no judgement of how you've been working it and I don't think anyone else will come forward with one either. We do better when we learn better. Al-Anon and MIP are the rooms of solutions when I am willing to listen with an open mind and along with prayers for the courage to change the things I can...I practice over and over. When I duplicate what the winners have been doing I become a winner also. Keep coming back ... allow him the dignity for the consequences of his choices. (((((hugs)))))
Carla, I read what you posted on my board.. As you see your not a lone. Right now I am to fragile to say much.. But what everyone has been trying to tell me is " let go let god " even at church today. I have to really give it all to god. I don't know what the out come will be.. But my son has choices and he has had some sobriety under his belt. I pray and pray and truly believe his higher power is watching over him.. I pray for stenghth for what ever is to come my way. I pray for you and your children.. You are not alone!!! There are many of us living this disease.. God bless
thank you all for your support. And to those who were in the room last evening when I was in desperate need of help. My son was arrested again last evening for retail theft, processed and released on his own recognizances, for the second time in a week. Needless to say he showed up here enraged when I told him my home is no longer an option and he handed my key over. After many treats and breaking a hole in my fence out front, and a call to 911 on my end I was able to hold my ground and keep my home safe and peaceful last evening. I continue to pry for strength every min of this day. Your shares of esh here and in the room are so greatly appreciated. God speed ~
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"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
Good work, Carla. Detachment teaches us not to allow ourselves to be used or abused. You refused to be used or abused without consequences. For some reason, our addicted children expect that home will always be a place for them to go. It's hard to teach them that simply isn't true after a certain time, but its necessary.
