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Hi everyone, it has been a very long time since I have been on this site and I am glad to see it is still here to give people the peace and serenity it once did for me. I have been out of a relationship with an alcoholic/drug addict for almost two years and my life became beyond better than I could have ever imagined. I met someone else and fell in love. Just recently, the man I fell in love with told me that he doesn't see me in his future. He cares about me, thinks I am a wonderful person, but just doesn't see me as "the one". Naturally I was/am heartbroken and have been coping with this devastation.
After two years of NO contact with my alcoholic ex, in the midst of my heartache, he sent me a text message with a picture we had taken about 6 years ago. (I was young, in love and trusted this man and took some personal pictures that I am not proud of) I have NO idea why all of a sudden he is trying to get a response from me. About every six months he will send me a text asking how I am or something harmless, to which I never reply. I am trying to stay calm and take this as the same....he is trying to get me to react to him to see if he still has that pull on me. By sending me this inappropriate picture, he was expecting my emotions to take over and to absolutely flip on him and engage in his misery. Well, I have been flipping out and cursing his name and absolutely terrorizing myself, but I refuse to respond to him because I do not want him back in my life. I keep getting urges to send him a message or call him to reem him out, but I know that will only lead to more frustrations for myself.
Looking for some guidance/support. My mind is going crazy, coming up with every possible scienerio. What if he shows this picture to other people? Puts it online? Tries to send it to my recent ex whom I am hoping very much to work things out with. My obsessive thinking is taking over my life again and I feel like he is back in my life even though I do not want him to be. I have come up with a plan that if he does send me another message I will just contact the police and have them deal with it. But it is still eating away at me and on top of it all I called my most recent ex sobbing because I needed his support. He was very caring and soothing, reminding me that this person is just trying to get me to react. I am beating myself up for ever taking the picture, for calling my most recent ex and thinking that he might think I am an awful person for ever taking the picture. I am beating myself up for everything and it feels like I am in a panic that I cannot get out of. I am reading the books and trying to stay in the moment, but it is so difficult to do so. I got the alcoholic out of my life once, I know I am strong enough to do it again.....I just have the fear of him coming in and taking away all my hard work. Need help in shutting down those thoughts in my mind that are consuming my life.
Good to see you back and sharing. I do undertand that both the breakup and the pictures can be very unsettling to your peace of mind. I suggest that you dig out your alanon books and check out the meeting schedule and once again begin attending alanon meets
I have a feeling that your x is trying to manipulate you with the pictures.
Just keep taking care of yourself and Keep coming back
Aloha Corgi and welcome home. I've had similar stuff happen..though haven't done the picture thingy...I don't think...hmmmm Anyway after a long separation with my ex Alcoholic/addict one day I get a phone call that her place of work is having a Christmas Party and there isn't anyone she would rather go with than me. REALLY!! I'll be there!! (RELAPSE EMERGENCY) and I went and they could have been holding it on a merry go round cause that's what it turned out to be. She got drunk...she fell and got seriously hurt...I took her home and tried to fix her for the last time. My most wonderful and longest lasting relationship is the one I have with my HP. Other people just happen to be just like me...human. Oh Well. I think I've learned thanks to the fellowship. Keep coming back. ((hugs))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 11th of December 2013 05:51:14 PM
I too hope you will jump right back into Al-Anon:) Get to face to face meetings because YOU are Worth it!!
I was wondering if you were willing to go to any length with this one and simply change your number? It doesn't mean your EX can not still choose to do something but you are over him,!! He can no longer hurt you, even if he does do something....you OWN your POWER, DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM:) Detach detach detach...
