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If you buy a nice gift they will sell it, if you give them money they will drink it....funny, but not funny, I am stumped... og A nice dinner is what seems to come to my mind....
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
OG, sooo true! Sad but true....I'm scratching my head over here too! I bought my A a game, then thought why would I do that, when all he does besides drink and drug and smoke, is play games 24/7. But sadly it's the least harmful item that I could think of. He may sell or trade it for his fix of choice after playing a few times. If I were to buy him say, a body wash/shampoo kit, well he may trade that too...
I buy what is practical for my son or not easily convertible when we are in relationship to each other in a consistent manner after consulting with my HP. To me, a gift is a gift. Once I give it, its out of my hands and the responsibility for its use lies in the hands of the receiver who can utilize it or pass it on.
I sent my son two gift cards for his birthday - one for Subway (food) and one for Shell (gas) - at least he'll be able to get to work and have a full belly. I'm thinking for Christmas I'll do something similar - maybe a WalMart card . . .
That's what I do...or gasoline for their car (if they still have it) or I might give a donation to a needy person or non-profit partly in their name? Good questions. (((hugs)))
I've never known an A in my life that's been so bad they'd sell stuff. Maybe expensive stuff - but not mittens or a new hat or the like - something small. I no longer have an alcoholics in my life that I would need to purchase gifts for. Sure, some distant relatives that are A's, my dad who is sober but doesn't celebrate the holidays...
This year is year two that I get to purchase gifts for my daughter and the couple of other people in my life that are really good to me (and only a small little something...) and otherwise enjoy spending the season celebrating the love and family bonding time.
After years of buying expensive gifts that he grunted at and then lost after a few days, I stopped. I considered the fact that he has never bought me a gift, ever, and instead have been buying MYSELF something each time there is a "giftworthy" occasion. I used to feel sorry for him because I am the only person on earth who bought him gifts or cards and then one day I thought...well there's probably a reason for that...it's kind of pointless when he just destroys or loses everything no matter how valuable...
This year I'm buying something again; he has a lovely chess board that we both play on but the pieces are all the same-looking. So I'm going to buy him some nice pieces and then I can enjoy playing with them too and can make sure they are packed away safely each time. So I guess really, I'm just buying a present for myself again
Isn't that what we're really doing when we buy a gift for another? Buying a gift for ourselves, too? Gifts to me are simply a token of love. Giving and receiving a gift are actions motivated by the same grace/love as long as there are no conditions or expectations attached to the action. When I give a gift in love that is received in love or receive a gift that is offered, I am benefited. I really admire the candor of your response, Melly. Thanks for the thread, OG.
