I am so sorry for your loss ( hugs)  You are indeed living our worst nightmare that this disease will take our loved ones away . You did the right things you called an ambulance and he refused to go , his choice there really was nothing else you could have done . Thinking of you today .  Louise

So sorry to hear of your loss.  Will keep you in prayer.

YF

I am so sorry for your pain.  We are here.......

I'm so sorry that this happened. So many of us fear what you are not going through.

Sending you prayers in hopes to give you some peace and understanding of this devastating disease.

So sorry for your loss. Hugs s

What a horrible thing for you to have to go through. My heart goes out to you.

swood: I know that I cannot truly feel your pain at this time but I am very sorry for your loss. Don't let yourself have regrets. When my dad died two years ago, I had so many regrets like: why didn't I talk to him the night before he died? I didn't know that he was going to die the next day but I still sit in regrets every time I think of him. He had stage 4 colon cancer. He was dying & I really didn't see it until it was too late. But, this is about you. I am sad for you. I see how this experience will impact your life. Just stay close to your HP if you have one--the healing process will begin w/ that in mind. I don't have all the answers of course & have probably said more than I should. Just hang in there! We will love you until you can get past this.

Kathleen

 

 

 

(((((Swood))))) 

So sorry for your loss (((((((((((Swood))))))))). My son died under circumstances that replay in my head and in that closed loop tape like you describe. He died this time of year so these images and thoughts of "if only I'd done this that or the other," "what if he had been x, y & z." come back on anniversaries I don't know if it is helpful to you to know that this is normal grief yet everyone's grief is their own. I try to change the subject in my head now but it was not possible in the beginning. My program friends just loved me through it a little more each year, if that makes sense. My prayers and support go out to you.

I am so sorry for your loss.

You know, for me I am in constant fear that one day I am going to get a call that my father has passed. I love him and will miss him when it happens and hope he is around for much longer.

It's funny because I feel as though I have been preparing for this for about 10 years. He has treated himself like he doesn't want to be here any more. it's to the point that whenever he leaves a voicemail, I delete it immediately after listening because I don't want to sit there listening to it over and over.

Listen to me, I am practically planning it as if he is dying. Although with the rate of his disease, it feels like it sometimes.

I have had to mourn the loss of both my parents without actually losing them.

That's the power of addiction and mental illness.

I am sorry for your loss, many hugs.

Becuz of his drinking, I too lost my beautiful husband when we were only 28 years old with two babies.

It's been over thirty years ago.

Yes you will feel that fog for a long time, embrace it. The pain is way too horrible to feel it totally. Everyones experience is different. Looking back now I would have told myself to slow down, take naps, no hastey decisions, Let others take care of you and the kids.

saying I was insane is putting it mildly.

Unless one has been through it, no way do they know how sharp that knife is we carry around inside. For me that horribleness over time, happened less and less. I am talking constant at first to every thirty min and on to every week then two weeks. It came less and less. then there would be a year of it hitting me all the time.

Now so many years later  I still miss him so much. Some people can remarry in time, which can be a tribute to how happy your marriage made you. Again everyone is different. Take the time it takes. You will heal more all the time. Please dear one let no one rush you.

I am old now, I want him more than I ever did. I tried a couple other relationships but inside I wanted my husband, yes warts and all, I get that! I pray you will put one foot in front of the other and treat YOU as you are an open wound, let yourself feel what you do.

MIP will be a Godsend to you if you want. We all really do care. I have seen so much healing here. I would be lost without these wonderful people.   love,debilyn

So sorry for your loss...Sending you prayers

May your higher power wrap his loving arms around you and bring you peace. 

Hi Swood,

you are not alone this disease has really done a job on you.

Keep coming back for support and hugs

Tracy xxxxxx

I am so sorry for your loss ((hugs))