The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am at work...EVERYONE knows NOT to call me unless it is emergency.....My A brother (my close one) knows my days bc I tell him ea. Sunday, "these are my days....NO calls"
I am on my boss's computer working on the G/L making sure accounts are "ok" and no adjustments needed
and phone rings....It is my A brother.........hes DRUNK....
He says to me "sissy, is that you???" well who the heck else is gonna pu my cell??? ....I said "yes, are you alright???" He tells me "yes, I am ok, but I wanted to tell you why I never beat up *C* (a deceased brother of ours) "
I reply that I am at work and this can wait....He just goes on and I told him, "I have to go.......talk w/you later" and i hung up
I was waiting for him to dial me right back, but thankfully he did not
The only thing I can figure is the license bureau won't give him back his license for the DUI until he pays the state $550 fine....
So now he is drunk....on foot or on his bike, I don't know and I am detaching....Won't take his calls all day today, anyway...NOW, I can't hope for him to be sober during the day , after today....So when I take his calls no matter what time it is, he could be drunk and I am not going to talk to him when hes sloshed.....I can't stand it...Reminds me too much of the past that I want to dissociate from.....Can't stand being around or talking to drunks....
I am so surprised hes drinking this early, usually it is at late afternoon or night.........THAT means hes off work.....another bad omen b/c no work??? time to drink...
so he will go MIA for another few days, maybe even a week...his cell will fill up with VM's then get full and I refuse to worry...refuse to do anything but lift him in prayer that he does not get harmed or robbed while he is passed out....
what a shame!!! He knows this is killing him slowly...We have discussed it...He KNOWS!!!
I am powerless......His creator is not...............how about I hand it/him over to his HP
Nice way to start my day...Its freezing cold, I hope he has a boat to stay on while he goes on his "sabbatical" bc otherwise, he will find his truck which he CANNOT drive w/out license and he will drink in his truck....stay there non stop until the "binge" is over with......He will drink his vodka, parked somewhere in his truck and drink till he is either out of booze or out of money, then spend 2 days drying out and be "ok" till the next binge.....He is killing himself.......they just don't care....None of them give a damn about the pain they give to their loved ones......and what REALLY makes me mad is that he is so lovable, the frikkin town will enable him....feed him....coddle him.....lend him $$ if he needs it bc he is very good at paying folks back......I wish I PRAY that people will just QUIT enabling him, let him hit bottom, let him suffer some HARD consequences so he MIGHT decide to get into recovery.......
OK....time for me to detach....working steps 1,2,3....three is the weekly focus for this week and BOY do i need it......that step that helps me turn over the stuff outside of my hoola hoop...........I have chores to do around my house when I get off....old office files to get rid of....and just get busy, taking care of me, and I just got through asking HP "do what u gotta do with him...I am powerless"
Thanks for listening.......
another post about the same ole same ole A's trashing themselves and not caring about those of us they will eventually leave behind......oh well.....I am powerless...........
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I'm so sorry....I know what your going through. I hope you don't worry to much about him and let HP take over. Easier said then done but you need to take care of you also.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
In Al-Anon I have learned that I have the right to vote with my feet. That also translates into voting with other things: the remote, the doorbell, and by letting the phone go to voice mail. Just because drama sends an engraved invitation it doesn't mean I have to accept it.
Hi, Neshema: It must be concerning, frustrating, irritating and sad for you all at the same time? Many prayers for both you and your brother. Lots of hugs for you. I know this is never easy stuff to deal with no matter how much program we have. (((N)))
well I heard from him Friday and Today...I did not ask him anything about his activities , what he had been doing, I kept my mouth shut...I did not want to hear about what he drank and when he sobered up.....NOT on my side of the street, and the less I hear and see and know, the better off i am....Its not denial bc I know and accept he is alcoholic, it is detachment which means, "yea, I know, but I am powerless so I am dissociating from the drinking part of him and its consequences for him and not gonna "go there"...... he sounded good, so this "excursion" was a short one for which i am grateful
He had a friend text his picture to me bc I have only been asking him for a pic for about a year, lol and his friend sent me one....his hair is long, I told "H" , his friend, that I appreciated the pic and "My how he bears a strong resemblance to Vlad Dracula", LOL...actually in historical lore, the real Dracula was very good looking as is my brother...the drinking has not ravaged his looks which was surprising to me....He looks good...His buddy offered to take him to a salon and get that long hair cut, but "R" likes it long....so whatever, its his hair....
So brother found for the moment, until the next "excursion" ...I literally go day to day with him....I know when I lose him from this self inflicted damage to his body , I will have lost ALL my bio family, either to suicide or my cutting them off due to abuse, or this which i call a suicide, too because he KNOWS what this is doing to him.....holidays are coming...I hope he has someone healthy to "hang out with" ......I know i have TWO places to go on Christmas and New Years...and we MAY have a little beer or wine set out for folks, but essentially it will be eating, visiting, and having fun...
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Thanks for the update, N. Glad you received that picture you were asking for of your brother, too! Happy to know you have two places to go both for Christmas and New Years both! Lots of joy being sent to you from my cold and blowy and snowy corner of the world. (((N)))
