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My son called me tonight and said he's ready to stop! He does not know what to do or how to do this. He was told by his father that I knew of a place he could go. I've heard of a place that works on donations but I don't know anything about them. he has no vehicle or phone (used his dads to call) and wanted to go tonight. OMG. We don't have that kind of insurance...or funds!
I told him I'd pick him up in the morning and we could check out some options. Houston is a big place. Surely he can find something?
I am freaking out!!!! I'm scared of steering him in the wrong direction. I'm scared. Isn't that crazy? You think I'd be relieved. Not....freaked out! help!
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More of LET GO & LET GOD, Less of GRAB ON & LET ME!
He could start by calling AA in your area for someone to call you back and direct him. Look in the yellow pages under alcohol and drugs.
Sadly there is rarely a bed available the moment they are ready. Best thing is for him to ask the AA person about how to proceed. NOT YOU. I cannot say that clearly enough. Everyone needs to step away and ask him, OK what are YOU going to do?
This has to be totally him, totally. If it is going to teach him anything, he has to use his own power, has to, or I guarentee it won't be real to him. He has to see what HE can do. If we do anything, anything we are telling the A they cannot do it, we have no faith in them.
For you to say ok what are YOU going to do? I know you can do this, this is a great step. Anyone who decides to start running, swimming, whatever has to go on their own power for it to mean anything.
If we do assist we are killing them. The greatest love is to have faith in them, that they can do it.
I am glad he is making this step, now may I invite you to get to meetings, read Getting them sober volume one, drop the rock, this is NOT your trip, Not your problem or venture.Your job is to take care of you, stop that anxious feeling you have in your stomach as it is not yours to feel.
You gave him a foundation, now allow him to stand up on his own, if you take away from that foundation by helping him hold it up, what happens when you stop? the whole thing falls. this has to be his own path. all of it. transportation, all of it.
I feel you gathering him in, pulling him in like a mom, can't do that. Its time to let go! sent with so much love and support,debilyn
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Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
Look for a teen challenge in your area... They will make them work for there keeps.. Also silver springs Nevada. It maybe far but the farther the better. It's called new hope recovery ranch.. Google it. It's great he is asking for help. Yes it is his problem and we have to stay on our side of the road. But if he is truly tired of living this life, I would assist on finding a low cost place. He is asking for help because mentally he can't think for himself right now. God bless and praise god he wants this!! Good luck.
take him directly to the Texas House at 2208 W. 34th Street Houston, Texas 77018. He might have to wait a bit, even a few hours to get a meeting with the director, or intake counselor but if he is willing to show he is serious and stay the course through the wait, they will likely take him in. They are a detox, treatment, aftercare facility that can walk him through the whole process into recovery. It is funded by the Texas Alcoholism Foundation so to get in and get detoxed and through their treatment doesn't cost a dime. It is a 3 stage, one year program that guides the men to independent sober and drug free living.
They won't want momma to be calling or talking to them in his behalf.. they will frown on that big time, it might even ruin his changes of getting a bed there immediately... he has to be able to man up, and speak for himself. They will want to see and hear his desperation, not mom's.
John
PS. I got sober there 24 years ago (1989)and about 5 years ago was there as a speaker for the men in treatment. It worked for me, it can work for him too if he stays the course and doesn't' give up when he hits the first obstacle.
That is good Katy but all the advice you got is the right thing to do. He has to do this on his own if he's truly serious. He needs a detox center first then a continued program of rehab and AA.
Prayers are with you and your son
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
You received excellent suggestions. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Please get back and let us know who he made out with this situation. And BREATHE!!
Most of the hospitals will have the information regarding rehab programs as well as Salvation Army and such. Point him, pat him on the butt and tell him "Go for it". AA is free also. ((((hugs))))
He chose a place and went in like a man. I'm praying. Thank you all. It is his...not mine. I'm working on letting go and working on me! God is good! No matter the outcome.
Thanks for all your help and support.
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More of LET GO & LET GOD, Less of GRAB ON & LET ME!
Oh I am soooo glad. You are doing great! NO matter what he will learn and get some sober time. I pray he will have lotsa ah ha moments, then get out and head straigh to AA for his ninety in ninety!
great news, debilyn
__________________
Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."