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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> There's no screaming in my
Post Info TOPIC: There's no screaming in my
Wisdom67


Senior Member

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Posts: 110
Date:
There's no screaming in my
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There's no more screaming in my house the ring has been taken down no more ding ding for the next fight. The last time I posted it was all lies . I been trying to get better convince myself I will be happy one day . My A 1 year sober husband still is not working 2 months now and still no health insurance ran out of medication . I use to go up in my room to read my Alaon and hit a meeting when I could and hang out downstairs with my husband and wait for a negative comment . Today I never leave my room I moved in it for now and put the closed sign up.. Living with a abusive alcoholic I felt like nothing , he gets sober and I drown in the leftovers , I start Alaon and worked it to the best I can giving the home conditions they way they were. I was up out going to meetings driving around , I thought ppl could release me from me help me grow smarter and stronger , but then my Sponser dropped me for her own self care , I said well I stay home tonight and my A won't be on my mind thinking bout what he thinking . I got lost ! I'm off the path not even on the road , my worst fear is me losing me and this is what happen .while I thought I was healing from the alcohol side effects depression has sit in my self . I can't denie it anymore I can't even fool me , I'm in my room 12 hours a day lights off door closed fan on to cover any noise I can here , all my self help sight I shut down I'm to tired to do anything I sleep all day maybe I get a meal or a drink of water in me but if I do that then I need to go to the rest room that means I leave my safe house . My husband checks on me once a day to let me know he off to a meeting but history repeats it's patterns there are some things ppl can't change . It's not a crystal ball for me to shake to know what he doing . I got what I wanted I guess , that was for him to leave me be stop controlling things I do again another light switch shuts off . He does not text me or call me or sneak upstairs or goes in my personal belonging yes that's great but ... He knows I'm sick I'm isolating I'm stuck in pause I don't no how to get out of my isolation how do I attach what I detached from myself . I left my soul behind I have no one to call me anymore and say hi I honestly feel more alone now then every before in my life . Out side my bedroom door life goes on he like his batcher pad he shopping all the time he gone all hours of the day where who knows and to tell you the truth I don't want to know , I been down the road before and it wasn't a good outcome for me . My 11 year old blurred out to me out of the blue . I think dads found himself a lady friend again. I didn't reply if my child senses it and I already sensed it then it I leave it alone . I wish I had someone to help me get better I'm to far gone to do this on my own .ð¿

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Wisdom67
PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3964
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Who is caring for your children? Wisdom, what do you want for your life?



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Paula
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
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Wisdom

You are not alone  I hear you and know what it feels like to be abandoned.  I know that because I was the first to abandon myself.  I abandoned myself , did not take care of my needs so , I needed others to help me as there was no one taking care of me.  

Alanon taught me that I was responsible for myself  and no one else could do it for me.  Please, please come here, attend on line meetings, connect and share.  That is how we reconnect with our own selves and needs  List your wonderful assets and gratitude daily and you will soon feel the power of that tool

Do not give up You are  worth it.



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Nightingale


Veteran Member

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Posts: 40
Date:
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((((Wisdom 67))))

It's so hard sometimes. Especially in the beginning of their sobriety. I couldn't take it. I took my three year old and left. It seems like the world never stops revolving around them. We're all of a sudden left with ourselves to see how far we've veered off track while we have given all of our attention to them...on them. Please hold on. Please keep coming here. We get it. You are not alone here.

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Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
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Women in your situation can call the Dept of Human Services to be directed to a dept who helps with domestic abuse.

There is help out there for your depression also, and for any kids involved. If you have kids you may be eligible for some assistance financially and for food. then help to find work when you can. until then with depression like this you could go on temp ssd or ssi.

Gotta start somewhere.On Craigslist u can check out shared homes etc.

I know you don't feel well. But take ONE step to get direction! You are worth it! love,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jozie


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1558
Date:
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((((Wisdom))))

Im Very Sorry that You are Going thru this, and It Sounds as Tho Your Child is Going thru it as well to Make such a Statement! PLEASE Find the Energy to Pull Yourself Back up! Hit a Meeting, SHARE Here, Allow others to Share their ESH In order to show you You are Worth WAY More then you are Giving yourself Credit for... We are ALL Here in Support of Each other, and We all Fall on Hard Times, Tough Times, and Times we Just Can't Take Anymore... You are Not Alone! Not even when you are In Your Safe Haven... Your HP Is There with You!

I Completely understand Detaching from the Abuser, Alcoholic, but I'm Sure your Son Needs you! OR.. Maybe You Need Him & Just don't know it or See it! You CAN Do This! And Even after All the Effort We Put Out, I too have Many Days I Just Dont want to Get out of Bed! For ME... Taking a Walk to Clear my Head in the Fresh Air Helps, Reading On this SIght Gives me Strength, Going to the Nearest Play Ground & Swinging On the Swings Is AMAZING, Taking My Peddle Bike out for a Spin, Sitting on My Porch Swing Alone! Listening to the Birds, All things that Help ME! Wrapping My Arms around My Son & Telling Him I Love him No Matter What! ALL Help Me Restore My Inner Worth, My Inner Energy, and My Inner Child!

Please Take what you Like & Leave the Rest... And Please Know... You are NO WHERE NEAR ALONE! Keep Coming Back...

Friends In Recovery... One Baby Step at a Time...

Jozie

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Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D
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