Hey Raven. That kind of dysfunctional behavior always gets my goat too but with some people it seems to be the only thing they know to do to "punish" us for whatever thing we have or have not done that they disapprove of. I suspect in my case, the last dry alcoholic also knew it is what got to me the most since I always wanted to fix the "problem" and open up communication again. Maybe this is a more common thing for men to give the silent treatment. I've never been in a relationship where the male partner didn't heavily use silence as a weapon. I'm just a talk to death kind of woman. My son once said to me when I was giving him a consequence for his behavior "Please Mom, just don't explain it to me!" I always want to mend a rift in a relationship by talking about it but I've learned over the years that talking rarely does more than makes things worse when the other person doesn't want to or cant be reasonable. Sometimes silence is exactly how I need to deal with a severely dysfunctional person. There is much to be said for the "silence is golden" approach.

Fortunately, we truly aren't mind readers, Raven, and really don't have to try to figure out somebody else's thoughts, feelings, behaviors. I realized many years ago that trying to read somebody's mind was like trying to ride a bike with no wheels. Didn't get me anywhere.

I also know a salesman trick that is used to hook buyers. Each party comes together to make a deal. Each knows what they want out of the deal. Both put what they want on the table (sort of) - they usually haven't put ALL on the table. Then, they shake hands and walk away from the table. The salesman doesn't go after the buyer. He waits. He waits because he knows that people are uncomfortable with silence. He also knows the one who can maintain the silence has the power. The one to break the silence gives theirs away. Do I recommend silence? Sometimes. Not cold. Not nasty. Not stomping around silence. But the silence of paying attention to things I want to do and doing them. The punishing type of silent treatment doesn't work if nobody is there to receive it. It also doesn't work on somebody who is out enjoying their own life and doing things they love to do.

Mine is sulking too. I can relate as I feel very fragile right now, maybe the holidays or something who knows. Do you have a good book you can read or project to work on, start planning for the holidays or writing out cards or something. Try not to let it get to you, let go and let HP sort some of this out. We can't force. (No matter how hard we try.)