Hi all,

I've been trying to read and respond to posts I really have a hard time trying to respond on my phone.  Still internet challenged and now the computer has decided to act up.  LOL!  Just rolling along because it is what it is :)

I guess I should start off with stating that one of my best friends has relapsed and it was heartbreaking.  One of the biggest things is that I was given a gift to see the keen alcoholic mind in action.  I was given the opportunity to lovingly detach and still keep my boundaries in tact. 

It was the first time I was able watch someone detox and it was probably the scariest experience I have to date and one I really do not want to repeat.  I received the phone call at 7am and was totally unaware of what I was walking into .. I was given the description that she was having panic attacks.  When I got there I knew she was drunk.  I am so very, very, very, grateful for the fact that my instincts have really kicked in, (I knew something hasn't been right) I am so grateful that I attend open AA meetings and know the dark side of the disease of alcoholism.  Now .. LOL .. as if my living with an active alcoholic for 17 years and dealing with the still collateral damage that has been wrought.  I had to laugh to myself.  AA truly taught me about the disease of alcoholism.  I was not able to see or really get the disease until Wednesday.  It really gave me some new insight into myself and even my stbax.  It has been absolutely eye opening. 

Anyway, .. I walked into a drunk happening.  At least I knew immediately and I allowed things to unfold as organically as possible.  What I found out over since Wednesday.  The reason I had been called is the disease decided I would keep the secret.   Well, organically that didn't happen.  I was really scared for my friend and out of concern I phoned another AA friend and OMGOSH all hell has broken loose sense then.  I am heart broken for my friend because I can see the handwriting on the wall unless she decides to get back on her program she's going to self destruct.  Lots of drama that I have remained out of, a couple of phone calls to the AA friend and now I'm pretty much done.  I say that without anger. 

What I heard from my friend was the heart break of relapse and a lot of BS to say the least.  So what did I do .. or have I done .. I have decided that I don't need the drama.  I'm blocking calls and I may have to block on FB however at this point I'm not going to worry about it.  I may have to involve some other AA people, at this point I will not .. she's talking about chairing meetings and that is just so NOT ok in my mind.  I don't think she'll wind up at a meeting until she hits her next bottom. 

A new version of exciting misery.  At this point though that was a lot to handle and I did it to the best of my ability.  I see how far I have healed and I have new appreciation for both AA and Alanon. 

So on to part 2 .. LOL .. it has been a week.

Hugs S :)