The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I thought I should say hello. I have been lurking around the board for a few weeks now and responding to posts here and there. I don't recognize a lot of names. It's good to see all the new family members have found their way to us. I also so a few names that I remember from when I was more active on the board and it was like feeling a huge hug to see all those names.
I did a search for my posts last week. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of gratitude that I am not that same person anymore and that I am not in the same place as I was. I look back at the old posts and where I once would have just shook my head and questioned why I did what I did I felt a longing to hug the girl I once was, hold her and tell her everything was going to be alright.
For those of you who don't know me I will briefly share a bit of my story.
I met my "A" when I was just 19 and spent the next 13 years of my life with him and what would become our disease. We have 3 beautiful children and for them I am forever grateful. I found this place in 2001 and the rooms of Al-Anon grew for me from the cyber world to rl. I found myself, my humor, my love for my HP, many many friends, my self worth and so many other things in the rooms of Al-Anon.
After many years of questioning, soul searching, praying, crying and talking things over with my trusted Alafamily I decided to end my marriage. This coming March will be 4 years.
My A for now is not a part of the children's lives. He made an attempt a year ago, but when he realized that I was no longer a part of the equation that it would just be him rebuilding a relationship with his children he disappeared. My children have not seen or heard from him in 2 years. I used to spend time waiting for him to make an appearance and I was worried about what would happen, but the hole he has dug for himself is pretty deep and my children are getting to the age where their opinion would legally matter.
Thanks to this program I was truly able to let him go and leave him in his HP's hands. I have some lingering guilt about choosing the person I did to be the father of my children and now the consequences for that choice hurting them, but I am working on that. I did get the kids into counseling two years ago to discuss the family issues that living with the disease created for all of us. It helped so much and the kids learned a lot about the disease and a lot of healing took place.
I just wanted to say hello and look forward to getting to know the new members to my Alafamily.
Yours in recovery,
Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Thanks, Mandy, for the introduction and the update on your life. I started in Al-Anon in 1979. I started to post on MIP about a year ago. I'm happy to have both the fellowship in my life and MIP, too. You and I share some things in common. Looking forward to getting acquainted with you in the weeks to come.
So nice to see old timers come back home. I started salmon about a year ago and at the same time mip. Over this year I Have learned a lot but so much more to learn.
Thank you for your visit please keep coming back my friend
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Glad you came home to MIP and shared your impressive recovery. It is always a great gift to ourselves to look back and see how far we have traveled. Without alanon tools the journey would have been so much harder, if not impossible.
