The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Now that the exAH is out of my life...I finally get to see through the fog and begin working on ME! I'm not suggesting that prior to the divorce I didn't have my own issues, it's just very difficult to see them and work on them when the world is revolving around the alcoholic and you are very isolated from any outside people or support.
So, I have been getting out and socializing and making new friends. At 38 - this is not so easy. Let me tell you...but, I'm doing it! Making new friends, practicing social skills and building confidence. I am joining a gym in town that is low cost and continuing on my path to a healthy lifestyle. Next up...I need to stop being a talkaholic. I knew for years that I talked a lot, but lately it shows and it's not good! Not good at all. I have tried to find books on the topic but there really aren't any. So, I am going to be more aware; try to think before speaking; not interupt; and ask questions of the person I am conversing with. Conversation has to be a two way street and not a monopoly.
So, there...working on me. Loving it! Every flawed moment and chance to change...
Aloha Abby and good for you. That is how we grow and get better...It works when you work it, is one of our bestest slogans. Sounds like a 4th step moment too. Someone here recently taught me a new slogan...WAIT,,,Why Am I Talking and I've been practicing ever since. I talk too much also not only to others and also to myself. Now when I find myself getting to do that I say or think "WAIT" to myself and make the change. We do really learn more from listening. I like the post. ((((hugs))))
Abby,
I hear ya! I am still working on this. After living in a shell for 35 years it is difficult to poke my head out of that shell and let people in. It seems foreign and unnatural. I keep telling myself that the shell living lifestyle was the one that should feel foreign.
Keep working on you. One day at a time. :)
Yours in recovery,
Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Good for you Abby. I remember a wise woman once telling me that the way to stop talking too much is to start listening intently. She said that people want to be heard and a person who really listens without just waiting to jump in and give their ideas is a treasure. And a good listener is a friend to be cherished.
Yeah Abby get some books on how to be a good and sincere listener, that would help. Although it may be that it has been so long since you have talked to a REAL person who listens its a real joy for you to talk for a couple of days...! lol....og
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
I talk a lot, too, depending on who I am with at the time. There are also times when I am very, very quiet and only listen, listen, listen. I've learned that when I am over talking, it is my way of coping and I'd go nutz without the talking. Tried many, many times to change it until a dear friend of mine told me "It's the way you cope. Let it be." So, I do. I'm also a very good listener, so maybe I couldn't be a good listener if I didn't do the talking at times, too? Glad you're here. Talk all you want on the board. We don't seem to have a time limit or sentence limit here.
