The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is victory. Zig Ziglar
Big or small, our victories are our happiness. Each one shows us we can do what we set out to do. Each helps build confidence in our abilities and is a boon to our self-esteem. With each victory, we can be assured there will be another. Anonymous
I consider it a victory to continue program practice even though my loved ones, friends and neighbors don't choose to do so. It gets lonely sometimes, but Al-Anon fellowship and MIP helps me stay the course. That makes me happy. Grateful2be"
Love this, G2B. Love it! It's just exactly right for me tonight. I put my thoughts about it in a separate thread so that it I didn't hijack yours if that makes sense
I've had such a rollercoaster couple of days. Some horrible words were said between ABF and myself yesterday. A wonderful night out with my daughter and parents last night...it began with me, quiet, aching with sadness and thinking it had been "ruined again" and ended with all of us laughing and enjoying our night and me, suddenly remembering...oh...wasn't I feeling sad about something earlier? Oh well! That's victory!! I set out with the firm thought in my mind...no matter how sad I feel, I'm going to fake it. I made it It was a wonderful and memorable night out just as we had planned.
This morning I woke up at their house, so sad again, you know how you do after a terrible fight...and again vowed to fake it...drove home for 3 hours with my parents and when we got here ABF was drunk in his room and I had so many reasons to be sad and angry..(like he had been devouring the stuff I ordered from the supermarket online grrrrrrrrr) .but I pushed on because no way was I letting this dysfunctional nonsense between us ruin another good time with my family...and so the four of us fixed up my yard and assembled my daughter's new trampoline...no-one mentioned ABF or asked why he didn't come out of his room...well step-dad asked mum and I to assemble the ladder while he assembled the trampoline and we did it wrong...twice...he was in hysterics over our botched efforts, taking photographs for facebook to shame us and mum and I were in tears laughing, trying to assemble that stupid ladder...and then when we finally got it done we went to inspect his trampoline and discovered he had put all of the poles in upside down... I don't remember the last time I laughed so much. Just working on a project with my parents and daughter...such a simple thing was so much fun. I forgot everything that was worrying me and had a fantastic afternoon...just like I had planned to do...that to me felt like a real victory. Daughter went to bed telling me what a fantastic weekend she was having.
My mum sent me a message before she went to bed saying that it had been wonderful to "work together as a unit" and I knew exactly what she meant. For so many years, I have been "not present" when I was with them...always distracted or sad or angry because of the situation with ABF. Today I just let it go and enjoyed my family.
VICTORY!!
-- Edited by Melly1248 on Saturday 30th of November 2013 12:48:37 PM
Daughter wanted me to get on and jump too. I was too fearful...like I am with so many things. I had this sense that if I got on, it would just...collapse or explode or something. Sort of how I feel when I try to drive a car. Such ridiculous fears. It's absurd; it's built to take almost 4 times my weight. Maybe today I will. Just get on, close my eyes and jump. You can't imagine how much the idea terrifies me! Ridiculous, eh?
Melly! I get happy about other people's victories, too! Thank you so much for such a grand and glorious and high jumping share! Thank you so much for the pics - those written and those taken! I'm so, so very delighted that you chose to celebrate and enjoy time with your parents and daughter. You let the past stay in the past - the bf stay in his room - and got into all the gifts that the present moments held for you. Can you see me grinning at you? Still in the leotards and tutu, but my feet were tired of the slippers and jewels, so now I'm wearing some pink, sparkly Uggs.
Jump!!!, Melly, jump!!!!!. Just don't fall face forward like a gym mate of mine did once in high school. She got her nose caught in the ropes and netting. It would have taken all of us less time to get her out of that mess, but we just couldn't stop laughing as we crawled under the gym trampoline to help pull aside the heavy netting so she could pull her nose out.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 30th of November 2013 02:11:58 PM
Let me find my wings. I have a small trampoline in my basement. I like it for exercise. But yours is much bigger! I think I'd like that better. Jump, Melly, jump!!!! Brace yourself if you can to start on the inside of the netting on a pole?
lol, I can see how it will work. I won't need to brace myself; I'll stand in the middle, crouched down like a toddler, bouncing up and down just a little bit, without letting me feet leave the mat...heehee daughter is going to laugh at me so much...I used to love trampolining when I was a kid but my old trampoline rusted and one day when I was bouncing the springs started flying off; a couple of them with so much force that they punched holes in the wooden fence...and I've been too scared ever since...what if the springs fly off and hit me...so silly. I'm scared of trampolines because the springs might fly off. I'm too scared to play the violin because a string broke once and hit me in the eye. I'm scared of water-slides because my uncle cut his elbow one day when he was going down one with me. I'm scared of cars because i was in some accidents. I'm scared to light the bbq because a man in our street blew up his bbq once. I'm scared to learn to surf even though I always wanted to because I saw a shark once... I want to, but I'm scared, I want to but I'm scared...
Today I shall conquer the trampoline! Who knows where it may lead. Perhaps I'll become a daredevil
Your knees must still be very good, Melly. I'd crouch down and then fall down. I'd stay there until I'd rolled off the side of the trampoline after the netting was raised for me. You go, girl. You'll be scared as long as you tell yourself that. I'm brave. I'm brave. I'm brave. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.
Go, Melly, go! Go, Melly, go! Go!, Melly, go! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, MELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!! You can do this, sister!!!! You can do it!!!!!
lol you have no idea how much that image made me laugh. I can see myself doing just the same thing
Once, we had to do rock-climbing at school camp. I was crying and saying I didn't want to, so the instructor sat me down and said "you have to trust me. You're tied to a rope which is tied to me, and there's no way you can fall. I believe in you. You can do this". So I climbed to the top and when I got there, I clung to the side of the cliff and cried and cried and cried while he called out encouraging platitudes. After an hour or so he gave up and climbed up and carried my down while I clung on to him for dear life. All of the other girls were mean and said that I had just done it because he was hot
He really was attractive but that was the furthest thing from my mind. I was just terrified!
I wonder why I am so fearful. I wonder if it would make a difference if I challenged it? I wonder if I even could?
I'm so trampolining tomorrow.
According to Elizabeth Kubler Ross we have two natural fears at the time of birth: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All other fears are taught. So, your fear of falling is natural. Putting it into perspective on your trampoline - good job, Melly. I will be here cheering for you and your trampoline baby steps. You don't have to conquer your fear of it all at once. Bouncing in the middle as you're thinking is a good first step. As far as the mean girls - well - their opinion of you is none of your business. Only your opinion of you is what matters. (well, and mine. I think you're delightful - fears and all.)
I jump regularly on my trampoline when weather is permitting....it keeps me in shape, endurance, muscle toning...relaxation, burning stress chemicals, works muscles so they are too tired to tense....i could go on about the benefits of trampoline...also it allows you to do the "go crazy thingy" without the neighbors calling the cops on you
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I think you're delightful - fears and all.)