MIPers, 

I need your help to stop my last hour from turning into a full-blown slip :). Thank you so much for whatever ESH you have to offer to keep me on track!!

I posted a few weeks ago about how challenging it has been for me that my partner is so busy with work and school. Now, it's Thanksgiving eve and my commitment and resolve to my practice to change my behavior is really being tested because there's quite a bit to do to get ready for our guests tomorrow. My partner has a full roster of things to do for school, so I am realizing that preparation will be up to me. And, I am having a tough time with it, so I am reviewing my original post and my initial resolve which I have done quite well with over the past few weeks and our home has really experienced a positive change. And, perhaps much more importantly, I have felt SO MUCH BETTER. My resolve was to: 1. Not reflect my anger and disappointment indirectly through my body language 2. Change my attitude (examine my motives for my behavior); 3. Change my activities (do things that are truly rewarding, joyful for me); Change my thinking (stop stink in' thinking'). That's a lot of changing!!! And, of course it's not all on me; it IS a relationship after all. 

BUT back to the only person I can change is ME. 

1. I can scale back the list of to-dos AND/OR I can ask for help directly. 

2. I can practice what I heard someone this morning refer to as "bathing in gratitude" - it is Thanksgiving after all and I have MUCH to be thankful for! I think I will make a list and I will do a little meditation around letting all I have to be grateful for be felt in my heart. 

3. I can focus on those activities in the prep that truly give me joy. I can work in 45 minute increments with breaks. I can also "quit while I'm ahead" by not working until I am so tired. Perhaps an early night with a movie and cocoa are called for :)!

4. I can tune into something else (radio, for example) other than my stink in' thinkin that is just obsessively reviewing the injustice of it all :) 

5. I can be honest about my feelings and acknowledge them at the very least to myself, and my God. 

So, here's where the rubber meets the road of recovery. I was/am doing well, I just need to keep at it. When I am challenged this way it is harder, but that's the test of my program to keep me practicing my program. 

Any encouragement you can send along my way, would be much appreciated! Feeling a little lighter, already! Thank you for listening!

Blue Cloud