The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well my son and I texted last night. I am trying my best to really just let him find his way, but I always seem to do it wrong. He shared that his job let him go. I was not surprised. As he already knows he has been down this path do to his addiction. I want some advise?? I told my son I loved him and pray that the holidays don't make him do something stupid. I told him I am still sticking to the eviction process. He has not responded. I do love my son but I'm tired and I can't comfort his addiction no more. It's killing me!!!
For me I had to learn to stop the lecturing a simple response would have been , I am sure you will find another job before long . I finally realized I had said the same things over and over again hoping this time he would hear me . Still being driven by their addiction they don't hear anything but negative . No one does this perfect so don't beat yourself up , the good news is we get to do a lot of practicing while dealing with this disease , when we know better we do better. Detaching with love takes time and at times is very painful but I was reminded by my sponsor to allow them the dignity to live their lives the way they choose , accept where their at and remember I don't have to get on this roller coaster any more . just my opinion . Louise
Louise's ESH was how I was taught also...sometimes I thought the practice would kill me however learning something new and different expecially under pressure is like that. The experience here on the board is that it works when you work it. None of us ever got it perfect and none of us have it perfect now. Go rest...get your literature and read and rest or journel and rest, bust rest. Keep coming back....after you rest. ((((hugs))))
I have no idea where my son will be for thanksgiving. Alone probably. His decision now because that's what he choose. I love him and miss him dearly but I will also live a life again.
Let go let God ......
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
My son won't be with me on Thanksgiving either. His choices led to these consequences. There will always be room in my heart for him and room at the table when or if he's sober. Until that time, living my life with folks who aren't using and won't attempt to use me is part of the way I need to love me right now. There came a time for me in relationship to my son when enough was enough. I didn't withdraw my love. It hurt that I couldn't be with him. But his disease had a hold on him and he didn't want to make any changes. I did want to make changes for me. It's not easy to me to let my grown son lead the life he's chosen. But, I learned its even harder to try to change him or the natural course of the consequences his life style has created. And frankly, there really isn't any choice for me. My son lives his life as he sees fit. I don't agree with the hardship he has chosen for himself but there's nothing to be gained chasing after him or trying to help him be who I want him to be with the life I want for him. I can only help myself be who I want to be and work on the life I want for me. Keep on caring for yourself, Gaby. It will continue to make a happy difference for you whether or not your son continues to use.
They have choices and so do we. I can't understand the poor choices my son has been making over and over and over. take care of yourself - that's all we can do.
