The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, Gaby. I don't know about you, but sometimes I allow myself to feel angry because in some ways it helps me feel like I still have some control or power. I don't. The disease does what it does - lies - and there is nothing I can do or say that will change it. On many occasions, it has helped me to look at what I'm fearing - anger helps mask my own fear sometimes and my sadness, too. Once I can identify my own fears, I can usually do what helps me feel safe and at peace in my own skin. Fear is usually only a forecast of the future that may or may not happen. If I'm really feeling sad under the anger, I do what I can to be gentle with myself or I spend time with folks who I enjoy. That always helps me feel better.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 26th of November 2013 06:27:44 PM
It's so hard not to take what is done personally as if my stbax isn't doing it to me. The lies is the disease showing its face. You already got some wonderful esh. Be good to gaby you deserve it!
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
The rollercoaster of emotions changes again. Never a dull moment. when dealing with an alcoholic. I always found it easier to detach when I was angry. I hope you can detach too and keep your peace.
__________________
"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
When you know he's lying...ask him what he is afraid of...cause that is what lying is about. He's afraid. Don't react you have your life to go on with and his lying has nothing to do with your happiness. ((((Gaby))))
My son lies constantly and he knows it. I don't ask anymore and so he doesn't have to lie to me. I don't go looking for the answer anymore so he doesn't have to hide it from me. I just know....... It's OK he doesn't do it to make you mad or upset...he does it because the drugs are more powerful than his will right now. I know it's hard to understand but with a good program you will someday.
Love him but let him learn on his time not yours.
(((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
my older A brother is pretty truthful, and even then, I don't ask stuff that MIGHT tempt him to lie
younger A brother is a liar , I wouldn't believe him if he told me it is headed towards winter...I would be wondering why everyone is wearing jackets.....
yea, i dont' ask....i don't go there......AND take what he says with a BIG grain of salt....delusions of gradeur or its the world is out to get me.....or it some other BS....
i don't let either rattle me..........older , closer one called me tonight....it was too late for him to be sober, so i let it go to VM...he left no VM......probably was drinking.......
i don't let it permeate my life anymore......i take care of me and part of taking care of me is to YES, be with my feelings and allow my body to emote what i am feeling, then its on to taking care of me.....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
