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So my daughter took off very drunk in her car from ohio to drive down to see friends in north carolina. I knew the route she takes so I called the state police in each state she would be going through and told them she was drunk. What if she killed some a small child , a whole family and she could have killed herself.No Excuse for this behavior. The state police in west Virginia got her and arrested her for aggravated DUI. They took her to jail and she spent the night there although I thought a couple nights would not hurt.
My daughter is so mad at me. She told me she would not have caught if I would have never called the police.She thinks this is my fault. I would do it again. If I can save my daughters life and have her be mad at me for the rest of my life , I would still do it.
Sure I dont want to see my daughter in trouble with the law. But we have free will to make our own decisions and she made a bad one.
I am sad she is so mad at me, I was always close to her and she thinks I betrayed her. But I refuse to be a enabler .
She will lose her license for a little while hopefully it will teach her something.
My AH has often said (with hindsight) that he wishes that the police had stopped him when he had been drink/driving.
You are one powerful Mama - I love the clarity of your decisions.
I just stood up and gave you a round of applause...I would rather have a loved one mad than dead. I did call a few times in the past, once for my husband and once for my sister. At the time we were living in a small town where the police dept was known to hang out at the local bars; my loved ones got to drive drunk...guess they had to be consistent with the townspeople...if they could drive drunk, others could, too. Way to go mama!
So frustrating to read that. My local PD said that they couldn't pull over my ex without cause. They just wouldn't do it because I called to say he smelled of alcohol and was slurring. They needed a "reason" to pull him over. He drinks so much, all the time that he just takes his time driving, stays on back roads and pulls it off. My choices (when our daugther visited) were to refuse visitation (and prove he was drunk to the courts - how, without a breathalyzer?) or allow her to go and then if he did get pulled over I might lose custody because I knew he was drunk. Grrr...I wish they were even 1/2 as much supportive as they were in your situation!
Congrats! You totally did the right thing!!!!!!! Even if it's painful to do sometimes.
I nearly called the police to report my AH, but he called me when I had the phone in my hand.....from the back of a squad car! He still got mad at me when I told him later on that I was going to report him. I applaud you as a mother, I would have done the same thing. I could never live with myself if I knew someone was drunk driving and then killed someone. I'd make a terrible bartender!
God I love to hear a member flex their muscles. "I refused to be an enabler" ...Like PP I applaud you. As a CHiP dispatcher I once advised a Highway Unit who stopped my wife without knowing she was and they took her out of her car and taxied her home. Its part of the recovery. Good Job. ((((hugs))))
I took my daughter's car from her when she was in her late teens. It was titled in my name but I had given it to her because she was doing well in school, had a job and we had no problems. When she turned 18, she decided she'd try a whole new lifestyle. I took the car back. The counselor I was seeing at the time didn't agree with me and frankly I didn't care. My daughter was mad at me for awhile. I didn't care. She was behaving as a "girl on fire" and I decided to put the fire out. She had a bumpy ride with no car for awhile but she also straightened her act out. She also didn't have a serious accident with friends in the car. There's nothing saying she would have had one anyway, but I wasn't going to allow her the chance if I had a say in the way things occurred - and I did. I owned the car and she was misusing the trust I'd placed in her. In hindsight - almost 20 years later - I'd do the same thing again. I, too, applaud your effort. There are time we have to let happen what will happen. But, there are other times, like this one, when we have to do what we know is the right thing for us to do. Your daughter has learned that she cannot thumb her nose at you, drive off drunk, and expect that you are going to say, "Oh, honey, I really wish you wouldn't do that." She's in trouble with the law because she drove drunk. No other reason.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 26th of November 2013 08:03:52 PM
As much as I hurt.. My pain is leading to anger. Where I maybe have to go the same. My sons not an alcoholic, but he is an addict. Today the lies just came tumbling down and I am fed up with all of it. I pray one day I get your strength to do the same as you did. As mothers we seem to fight for there lives harder then them.. God bless.
let her be mad. Sit with the discomfort. And don't apologize for it EVER.
we also don't want to argue with them about a decision we made which we already followed up with action. No need.
also what is in my heart is very important. I don't hear you wanting to punish her but i will
just point out for the sake of pointing it out that our motives have to be right. We don't do these things to punish but because we're following principles.
My AH has often said (with hindsight) that he wishes that the police had stopped him when he had been drink/driving. You are one powerful Mama - I love the clarity of your decisions.
As much as I hurt.. My pain is leading to anger. Where I maybe have to go the same. My sons not an alcoholic, but he is an addict. Today the lies just came tumbling down and I am fed up with all of it. I pray one day I get your strength to do the same as you did. As mothers we seem to fight for there lives harder then them.. God bless.
I have heard every lie there is from my daughter. I decided I will not help her. I turn the tables, if I saw someone driving drunk I would call the police. So I did this time it was my daughter.
Stay strong with your son. let him know you love him but you wont enable him anymore
. I knew the route she takes so I called the state police in each state she would be going through and told them she was drunk. What if she killed some a small child , a whole family and she could have killed herself.No Excuse for this behavior.
The state police in west Virginia got her and arrested her for aggravated DUI. They took her to jail and she spent the night there although I thought a couple nights would not hurt.