Call from my son - Al-Anon Family Group

Rose50 · Senior Member

Call from my son

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Rose)))) heartstrings yeah! Remember "tough love". It works and gives them the dignity of the consequences of their choices. ((((hugs)))) smile

Gaby · Senior Member

I know the feeling of wanting to ask but afraid to hear what is happening. I too at this time feel the same with my son.. It is a heart breaker and of course they will touch our weak side of us. I for sure can tell you all the ropes of how my son said everything I wanted to hear to just give in and he was right back out there using. Our children are grown men. This devil or disease called addiction is something we can not control. They have to truly want help. I text my son ever now and then and ask him please respond so I know your alive. When he does in my gut I still know he's in a dark place with himself. But I have to remember to take care of me. As you do too. We can not be the ones to die due to there poor choices. You are not alone.. God bless and many prayers.

Rose50 · Senior Member

Thanks for your support, Jerry. I will try my best to practice tough love. I know it's the only way.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Rose: I understand. It doesn't matter how much we do or don't do, if they continue to use their story remains the same. Our story is the only one we can change. We hate to see them suffering and struggling or hear them suffering and struggling and I believe if we simply listen, they hear themselves. We can't fight it, fix it or flee it. We can simply be a dispassionate listener who have program tools to share with them. We don't have to give them money, a place in our home, or try to solve their problems for them, but we can listen and trust they can hear themselves and make new decisions if they choose.

Rose50 · Senior Member

((Gaby)))

I know you are going through the same with your son. It truly is heartbreaking but what can we do except take care of ourselves. And pray.

((hugs)))

Rose50 · Senior Member

grateful2 be ---

That's what I'm trying to do...just listen and give no advice. I didn't say much to him but told him I loved him.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I know this is tough....I wish you peace, Rose.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Rose)))

Prayers for you and your family

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

(((R))) That is hard work! Good for you. My tongue probably carries the wounds of many bites in relationship to my son - but I think they've healed. I now have a small lisp, but I try to concentrate on that part of my tongue that I didn't bite as often. smile

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

i agree with the tough love concept....also when we enable, we rob them of the lessons they needed to learn and therefore stunt their spiritual growth.....really hard, but so necessary

texas yankee · Senior Member

I've been away for a while - glad I found this place again - LOL, just when I needed it, again.

Kinda the same story here with me - not sure if my kid is using again, or kicked out of the place he was renting, or broken up with his girlfriend, or doing some other thing that seems stupid to those of us with at least some clarity of thought from time to time - I think I'm doing the right thing by not asking him what's going on and what happened, but it ain't easy - harder than anything I've ever done.

He's in Florida and I'm in Texas - as I say my prayers every night and every day and all throughout the day, I'm reminded that almost 10 years ago when I asked God to take the Ice out of my son's life, I promised Him that given that ask, I would never ask for anything else again - and, working through a great rehab program, He took the addiction away from my son and he;s been clean (at least from Ice) for almost 10 years now - still making bad decisions and not happy with his life and going in circles (at best) - but not using Ice (as far as I know).

So when I talk with my Higher Power, I hear a lot of laughing - yeah, I'm still asking, and I guess that's breaking my promise . . .

On the plus side, I found another meeting for Tuesday - so now I have a meeting at 6 PM and another one at 8 PM - I am a smart guy - wouldn't ya think after almost 10 years I'd have seen the light and learned something?

When does this get better?

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

dear one, I am glad to know he contacted you. My thought was, if mine said I have nothing. I would say oh? do you like it like that? does that mean you want to get some things going?

I do my best to remember to always put it right back in their lap, it is not mine. Insurance lapsed? so do you have plans to fix that? or again, oh really?

I remember one time, ONE night, my ex aH tried to hit me up for money for something, then found out he hit up his friendmother and father in law and brother! Just five bucks but from several people. I used to have him come out here and pay him to do some electric work or whatever. He would tell his family I did not pay him. right. Used to tell me sometimes a client did not pay him. what a load of bs. stupid disease.

Its his life, he has to do it for him like we do.

HP can handle it, we just lovem. they are our kids forever. i was my mothers daughter, always a kid to her, I was my gmas grand daughter always a kid to her.

You love your son of course! we never know, there is always a chance they will find making their life better is a lot happier than continuing allowing the disease to be their thing! hugz

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