The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been there, too, Spider. I've gotten better at recognizing when my negative imagination is painting a picture for me that I can allow to "take me away" or just see it for what it is - a negative picture. Learning how to stay in the present moment has taken lots of practice and still does, but I've made progress. From what I see - you have, too. You're noticing what is happening in your mind and what you do when the negative (and maybe positive, too?) possibilities come to call. Awareness, acceptance and then a new action like focusing on your body and where it is standing, sitting or lying might help to calm your mind down? Focusing on one word or your breath or a focal point in the room where you are present could help, too? Another thing that helps me is that I tend to recognize a surge of energy before I notice the story my mind is creating. When I feel that surge, I know it is usually a sign that I need to stop, look, listen before I do anything else. This helps to calm me and bring into the present moment, too.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 25th of November 2013 05:50:45 PM
I've found a disturbing pattern in myself - as soon as anything at all might be wrong, I start thinking the worst, and working myself up to the point that I'm thinking about divorce. My husband called, but I didn't have a chance to talk to him. He was upset, said it had to do with work. Of course, now I'm freaking out, thinking he's going to lose his job, and wondering why I put up with all this, maybe I'd be better off on my own.
I have no idea what might be wrong. It could be something totally minor. And yet I'm already prepping for the worst. I'm doing this despite everything we've worked to repair our marriage, better ourselves, and reforge the trust we lost in each other. I really don't like this about myself.
I can so relate. The"Fight or Flight" syndrome was alive and well within me until I developed new coping tools in alanon. As soon as an issue surfaced that I found unpleasant my first REACTION was" I will not deal with this I am leaving. or go into a rage"
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In working the Steps I finally accepted that this was the exact nature of some of my wrong. Alanon slogan to "Act and not react" saved my sanity and life. I used slogans and the serenity prayer to stop the reaction so I could pray and ponder a different response. It works
You are doing fine. Awareness is the most important step
I relate to Betty's response...For me this is about Fear baseness. My greatest emotional characteristic was fear from a 4th step on emotions. I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know until that 4th step. Early on my reaction to fear was "flight" and then it became "fight" and I perpetrated lots of violence. Go for the inventory to see what the picture is. ((((hugs))))
