Life on life's terms - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Life on life's terms

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

It's sad and it's ironic for lack of a better term .. the more I can see how devastated my stbax is by the disease the more it makes sense that he's very, very, sick. Being mad at him about it is a waste of time .. however I am going to allow the courts to do what they need to do and I'm not going to get in the way. They want the drink more than they want healthy and until that truly changes .. nothing changes.

What a wonderful program you work my friend, hugs S :)

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Isn't it so much easier to listen with love and then let go........

(((( hugs ))))

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Accepting Life and Life's terms is a powerful tool and slogan of alanon.

It does take practice and a great deal of practice to succeed but is so worth it.

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

I am finally getting it, too aww Thanks for the post, elcee.

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

I so enjoyed reading this post! Thank you, el cee. You've made a big shift in your thinking about your son. You've done a lot of work in your program. I'm so happy for you.

WorkingThroughIt · ~*Service Worker*~

his heart wanted to take you to dinner but bus disease said, "drink."

if we have no expectations we can't be resentful.

nice work

el-cee wrote:
Listening to this saying from old timers in alanon has never meant that much to me before. Living life on lifes terms!! I am getting it though. I think it means accepting people for who they are and not what we want them to be. Not really having expectations of anyone. For example, my son had some money today and I know, through experience, he wants to drink it away. I dont ask or suggest because there is no point, he will lie about it. Anyway, he says 'I was going to take you for a meal with this money' and I say oh okay, yes that would be nice, then he says, 'but I dont really have enough because....' Well, to be honest, this made me laugh, not in front of him but when he left I just laughed at this. He wants to do these things but he wants to drink more. It is what it is but the important thing for me was my ability to accept life and him on lifes terms. I never took a hurt, I never got angry. I am beginning to accept him, all of him, in many ways. I am not attempting to change people in my life much these days. I am more interested in me and my own life and much less obsessed about others. I knwo I am always saying it but this program is a life saver and I love it. Thanks for listening.x

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

I am not attempting to change people in my life much these days. I am more interested in me and my own life and much less obsessed about others. I knwo I am always saying it but this program is a life saver and I love it. Thanks for listening.x

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oh yea, the fighting and protecting or the obsessing and controlling......if i fight or try and control humans or ANY situations, i just give negative more energy.......i, too, am not trying to change others , too...in fact when i feel like i am getting a headache from bashing my head against the same wall, its my cue to BACK OFF....

i have looked at my part in my "not anymore" relationships and i see where i was either expecting more then they were able to give, and i had no right to expect them to change....i either accept them as is or walk away if it is just not a match......or just be a distance "casual" acquaintence......but no more trying to change people

my weakness is trying to change situations, trying to force outcome i want and that, too, i am willing to LET GO OF.......

nice post...good job :)

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks everyone. Ironically I hadn't realised the shift in my thinking. I know I have accepted things in another way perhaps a deeper level. I need to work on the courage to take action to improve my life. Thanks again for the encouragement.x

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.