The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's taken me a long time and every once in a while I can get sucked into the he's really ok and I'm the one who isn't thought process. Then I am given what I call a "gift" a reminder that NOOOO .. I'm doing just fine and stay on MY side of the street and let him do what he's going to do.
I have some footwork to keep doing and it's been hectic. I am unemployed and that part is scary however .. it is what it is and I better use this time to the best of my advantage which means whipping the house into awesome shape especially for the holidays and because it makes me feel better. I can focus fully on the court stuff I have a ton of questions to ask and of course there is another court date for the OP coming up. I'm absolutely entertained beyond belief at this point. I mean that with my jaw on the ground kind of stunned. He is not ok and again the little messages I get from HP is always entertaining.
There are some additional things I have to put together and that will be rough .. however it's going to be what it's going to be at this point. I am being audited by the state and I'm going to ask them to go after him (I don't know that they will however I can ask .. LOL) for gap money I didn't receive during the time they are auditing me for sooo we'll see how that all goes.
Then there are the tickets .. I am really praying over this one and just letting time take time at this point. He's now placing me in an uncomfortable position and I am going to have to take action that is not going to be pretty. It is what it is and while I'm scared .. I'm not THAT scared trust me. It just is different for me to take a stand and say NO .. that is NOT ok and I'm no longer going to be a product of his continued collateral damage.
Anyways, .. it's taken me a long time to get to the point of being able to take action and not be angry about it. It's really an odd feeling .. now that's not to say I never get mad or I never get frustrated .. when I take an action I'm not doing it because I'm mad.
Maybe I will be divorced sooner than later I already have a plan in action and I'm very happy just having a plan.
Hugs S :)
PS - I should add .. without Alanon, without the therapy I've been involved with I wouldn't be able to take the action that I'm taking now without being so bloody angry about it.
-- Edited by SerenityRUS on Sunday 24th of November 2013 04:24:55 PM
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thank God! It is so much easier on our bodies. I got a taste of old times last night when I found myself screaming into the phone and turning purple as he became more smug. I came ti my senses and turned the phone off and listened to music. Sounds like you have done the same. Good for us!! ;(
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
I do so understand and have been there Trust the process and HP .
I remember at one point I was terrified to open the mail box. There were several law suits due to auto accidents and overdue parking tickets. One day at a time,using grogram tools I chipped away at each and walked through it with prayers, alanon members, some serenity and a great deal of borrowed courage Today opening the mail box is a piece of cake
Without Alanon and therapy I'd be a mess! Now that I've been divorced a year and he's retreated and is leaving our daughter alone...life is good.
I actually was thinking that on the DD anniversary on 11/15. I had this whole epipheny about how I've been handling everything just fine no matter what the exAH tries to toss at me. So, now I am going to LIVE my life! Not worry. I can handle it. It's kind of a nice place to be in. Not that my life isn't without stress - there's lots of financial fallout from the divorce...but I will manage. I'm stronger now than ever before.
I hope that once you get past some of the legal stuff that you will arrive at this place one day too. Stay strong!
