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I drive school bus and have threatened to arrange my kids, all ages, into seats that I know they won't like, if they cannot control their behavior - I'm tired of having to holler the same things over and over and careening down the freeway at 55 mph with semi's passing is no place for me to have to be disciplining kids that should be able to discipline themselves.
So this morning I get a note with a mom's phone number, mom wants me to call her. Ok, so I call her, and of course she doesn't like the seating arrangement - her precious kids cannot sit amongst the others for this reason and that (they are bad kids and her kids are angels) (I shoulda asked the senior if she REALLY wanted me telling her mom how she behaved on the bus, just didn't think that fast). I explained the circumstances, that if they would control themselves, then I won't need to alter their seating assignments. I also explained that her precious son just last Thursday would not stay in his seat and I had to continually holler back for him to sit down - keeping in mind I am on a busy freeway watching as the semi's pass me. Off-handedly she says she would talk with her son and daughters, then went back to all the reasons why they cannot sit where the proposed arrangement has them. then she switched her ranting to a neighbors dogs and why her kids should not have to walk past them to catch the bus.
I repeated my reasons for the seating chart and that I don't want to make them change, then I said something about liking it when the kindergarteners fell asleep because I didn't have to constantly stop them from hitting and misbehaving. Boy she latched onto that, said it was wrong of me to be glad they were asleep (you kidding me?) and that I got to have my say so she was saying what she wanted. I told her I accepted her viewpoint on the matter and let it go.
Ended the phone call with her saying she didn't want her kids sitting in the proposed seats and would be talking to my boss; so I called em, both of em, and explained the seating chart's purpose (to get the older kids that know better to control themselves and each other so they don't have to move to unwanted seats) and the basics of the phone call.
At one point she says she doesn't see why her daughter should have to be moved when she doesn't do anything wrong and I'm thinking, man are you in denial lady! Sorry but I would NOT have included your kids in the proposed move if they were NOT part of the problem. I know, our own kids are perfect, right? Our own selves are perfect and we never do anything wrong, right? yeah, Denial is a very powerful thing and I'm just ranting to get it off my chest, but I also know that we see denial in more walks of life that the alcoholic one.
Let her drive her kids to school eh? - oh and, I don't careen down the freeway, but I like the word careen and wanted to use it! Cheers!
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Oh dear, could be the making of future alcoholic. You know that whole idea of them not having to take responsibility and suffer consequences of their actions. Sounds like a nightmare job. Are there no other adults travelling with you to supervise? Also are there seatbelts? It sounds like your doing a good job getting them to school alive, well done for that.x
((ILMH)) I can relate to having been confronted with this frustrating mentality! Your seating chart is a good idea since the children have not received any other consequences for jeopardizing everyone on the bus.
Brings me back to the day when the mom of the class bully was confronted and the mom replied, "Oh, so you're jealous of my daughter's leadership skills!?"
Safety first. Always. Safety first. Parents, the school, and anyone else involved must be adult enough and able to put safety first. Who in authority would challenge keeping the children safe! You're driving a bus full of children and it is not safe for you to have these types of distraction in order to safely transport children. The school, the bus company, the parents, and the children need to abide by rules that keep everyone safe. The school needs to impose consequences if this doesn't happen. I hope you garner the needed support from the school and bus company.
Just have to comment on the amazing tragedy of denial. My A has abused her body with food and alcohol for years. I did my best to warn, inform, and OK, be a perfect codependent person. I was upset by what she was doing. She in her ultimate denial, never imagined anything could affect her health. 20 yrs later and guess what? She has cysts on her liver, just had a nuclear stress test today for unexplained chest pain, and in Dec. has to see a lung doc for a spot on her lung. Now she says the doctors are making a big deal about nothing. And so it continues, Lyne
I say YAY for you...but too bad the kids and mom's irresponsibility is now your responsibility. These will be the people giving that lovely list of excuses posted the other day.
Sadly, budget cuts mean no monitoring adult riding along making the kids behave. When I became a driver it was pointed out to me how hard it would be for one adult to unbuckle seatbelts from 50 kindergarten kids - keep in mind that any rule governing a state's student transportation applies to the whole state, so for my route, I would have help unbuckling because I have high school kids as well as 1st graders; some routes are just kindergarten or younger students, it would be a nightmare trying to get them all unbuckled and off the bus in the event of an emergency - so I am not in favor of seatbelts on buses! I passed the info onto my bosses who both said good, looking forward to the call and such, but time will show whether they truly back me up or not.
Back years ago - I had a friend of my older daughter's over all the time, often she was excitedly complaining about her mom and step dad, colorful language used, you bet! One time I was working on gravel, tired, worn out, at the end of my rope and she was over demanding attention and I snapped at her using colorful language of my own. She goes home and complains to her mom (of course) and mom comes over telling me how I shouldn't be cussing at her kid - I just looked at her, then said that I lamented using such language but that I didn't say anything I hadn't heard from HER daughter's mouth. Of course she raised herself up and declared that her daughter didn't use foul language (I laughed, inappropriate I know, but couldn't help it) and somehow we got on the subject of lying - of course her daughter didn't lie either and all I could say was "mom's name", come on, you really don't believe that she never lies do you? She left angry at me, oh well, and the daughter couldn't look me in the eye anymore. Yup, denial is powerful.
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
This is one of my pet peeves in our State. 62 kids on a bus, no seatbelts, one driver responsible for getting them back and forth amidst drivers on cellphones, running red lights, meth labs in the trunks, and parents refusing to understand how necessary it is for their kids to behave themselves.
I've called Transportation, the Governor's Office, the Superintendent of Schools to no avail. Every department blames the other department and cutbacks. The underlying problem to me is lack of care for the kids or the bus driver. My hat's off to you, LMH. I couldn't drive a bus without drugs and a bull horn.
hmm, give the kids drugs to settle them down? Good idea Grateful! tee hee, and the bull horn, is that to beat them into submission with? Or maybe I should take the drugs so I don't CARE how the kids act? ha!
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Your side of the street, LMH. Your side of the street! The bull horn is to scream for help - for YOU. The drugs are to keep you calm and focused. When the kids get tired of fighting and nobody intervenes, you'll be getting calls from parents DEMANDING that you come up with a seating plan for ALL the kids on the bus. I'd suggest earplugs, too, but you won't hear the drivers honking at you to let you know one kid has another one by the legs hanging them outside the window.
(And no, if anyone wonders if I'm serious, I'm not serious.)
