The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm supposed to be getting ready for work and here I am...Lol..
I just have to vent a tiny bit before I walk out into the living room and see the A sitting at the computer dressed in the same clothes from last week. At least he hardly perspires, so you smell the dirty clothes more than anything else. And yet I feel badly for saying those type of things about him, especially after reading Melly's post on compassion.
The reason I had to hop on here when I need to go to work? Yesterday, my A announced to me with great pride that he had gone back to an online game that he used to play, and that it was awesome because he wasn't feeling the urge to drink. I probably didn't give the most enthusiastic response (having heard this before), and left to work....fast forward to last night, I came home from work, he was sitting in the exact same spot, the house smelled like smoke....I went into the bedroom, business as usual, I read, watched some tv, didn't see him for the rest of the night.
I'll cut to the chase...I noticed his eyes were "off" last night. But true to his word, there was no alcohol. When I saw him just now, I could definitely tell that he'd been medicating...I found a big bag of "Spice" in the desk drawer when he went outside to smoke a cigarette (and probably some spice).
I am taking my books to read on my breaks and will hopefully not turn into a raving lunatic when I get home.
I'm just glad that my addiction to MIP helps me deal with this. I love you guys ;)!!
Oh Raven. It's easy to have compassion for a guy I have been divorced from for 10 years. It's not so easy when you are living in the moment!In fact it has taken me 10 years to get over the anger and even consider feeling compassionate towards him! That's why I was so excited when I felt it and had to share it!
The online game isn't WoW by any chance is it? My A drinks for a period of several months, then he "quits" drinking (cuts it down a little bit) and goes back to WoW. And expects me to celebrate his "sobriety". Then after a few months of maniacal WoW playing he "quits" gaming and goes back to drinking and again expects me to celebrate...and then he "get's sober" again and goes back to his game...and each time I am supposed to bake a cake and have a commemorative medallion forged and hire a brass band because he is "getting sober" from one or the other of his addictions.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say- we love U too.
Also, if his gaming is a serious issue for you, I can recommend some excellent resources on living with computer-game addicts.
Aloha Raven...good for you in staying touch with what heals you. I can call it addiction myself and then that's not going to drown the real reason I come here and participate. If I don't set myself up with the reality of the disease in my life with the solutions that are available to me; I'm done. There is no denial anymore once I found out that I was born and raised in it and can behave so like second nature if I'm not in or very close to the solutions and the people who carry them and give them away for nothing. Just before I found Al-Anon I was re-visiting the possibility of suicide...I don't ever by choice want to entertain that insanity voluntarily. No thanks ...nothing of any value there for me at all; not then and certainly not now. Practice this useful addiction. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
